The Boy From South Side
by starkkaug
Summary: On the outside, Kacey could not be more different from Carl Gallagher. Yet, they share more in common than they think. **I tweaked the original Shameless plot, but it's pretty much the same** Fluff/angst/sexual tension/hurt/comfort/friendship pretty much everything ;)
1. Curiosity and Cornrows: Kacey

_2: 26 a.m._

Kacey's hands shook as she slowly turned the key, unlocking the front door to her house.

She hesitated, then took a step forward. While quietly shuffling inside, she noticed the glow of the TV and the familiar smell of spaghetti sauce.

He was here. Drunk, as usual.

Tip-toeing her way up the cream-carpeted stairs, she made her way into her bedroom and shut the door.

Luckily, he hadn't noticed her enter.

It wouldn't have been the end of the world if he had. She just hated being around him when he was intoxicated.

Kacey peeled off her jean shorts and changed into more comfortable ones. Slipping on a bleach-stained oversized t-shirt, she reflected on the night she had just had. Her friends had dragged her to a house party at some guy's house in South Side. South Side parties always tended to be rowdier than others. More booze, more drugs, and more of a chance of getting arrested. It always scared Kacey when the cops showed up. They usually came because of a noise complaint, and left shortly after telling whoever was hosting to turn the music down. On rare occasions, they stayed and then people ran. She didn't want Sophia to jeopardize her future based on one party, so Kacey worried.

Kacey rarely went out. Partying just wasn't her thing. Alcohol made her extremely uneasy, and she had vowed when she younger that she would never drink.

She was intent on keeping that vow.

Staying home and reading a book on a Friday night was a lot more appealing to her.

Her friends were nice enough to try to convince her to go out, but whenever she did she never had fun. Everyone always smelled like alcohol and weed, with occasional whiffs of cigarette smoke. And Kacey somehow always ended up as the babysitter, holding hair back as girls vomited in the toilet, making sure everyone was remotely conscious, and checking that her friends had a safe ride home. Frankly, she was sick of it.

Sick of people acting like all there is to life is alcohol and partying.

She knew she was biased because of her dad and her upbringing; Kacey had always been more mature and independent than practically everyone her age. But still, sometimes she felt so alone.

Her friends could be really childish. They all had a lot of money, and were incredibly spoiled. Kacey lived in a nice house as well, and she _did_ acknowledge her privilege. But, her friends had never experienced any real life issues. They had never had to endure anything similar to what Kacey does on a daily basis. This made it hard to connect with them, or really anyone around her.

She knew she couldn't blame them for their limited knowledge of her life; she was always super closed-off and unwilling to open up. She was afraid of their reactions. She knew they could never understand.

 _No one can,_ she thought. Oh sure, she was being melodramatic about the whole thing. But when you're incredibly lonely it's hard to be optimistic.

Kacey got into her bed and slid under the soft comforter. Even though she was exhausted, sleep never came easily. However, she did have meds to help her relax, as well as anti-depressants and anxiety pills. Her dad paid for a psychiatrist and meds, and she was grateful. But it was because of him that she needed them in the first place.

Kacey heard the familiar _ding_ of her phone, sighed, and lazily grabbed it from her bedside table. A text from Sophia, who was drunk, so the text was barely comprehensible. Kacey didn't bother responding. Sophia was a good friend of hers, but she tended to make bad choices.

 _A lot._

Meaning getting blackout drunk every weekend and hooking up with guys who she barely knew. Despite this, Sophia was fun, _fiercely_ loyal, and helped Kacey forget about all of the bad shit in her life. She was crazy, but Kacey loved her.

And Sophia was smart; maybe not street-smart, but definitely book-smart. Most people don't expect this because Sophia seems like she's just a pretty face and money. But she was much more than that.

It irked Kacey that people at her school thought her and her friends were all stuck-up rich kids. Most of them didn't have a mean bone in their bodies. And others…well…Kacey wasn't friends with them. Sure, they'd be at the same social events as her. But that didn't mean she was friends with any of them. Kacey just wished that people would stop judging her based on what they see. Everyone assumed she had it easy.

 _If only they knew._

Kacey tried to fall asleep. Even after taking a small dose of Ativan, she tossed and turned, replaying the night over and over.

It had been an uneventful evening, but was still pretty memorable nonetheless. Sophia had been to a few South Side parties, but this was Kacey's first. The pungent smell of cigarettes and beer welcomed her as she entered into the dark house. The music was deafening; it was some kind of rap song. People were making out all over the place, and there were even a few people snorting coke off of the glass coffee table. There was also a strobe light in the living room which made Kacey's head throb, as well as a group of people playing beer pong. _How can they see anything? Or hear?_

It was overwhelming. Never had Kacey been to a party this wild.

Feeling herself panic, Kacey walked to a more well-lit part of the house, shoving people away left and right. She rushed past people taking shots and walked by a group of guys passing a joint around. Eventually she was able to squeeze past a few more people and make it to the kitchen, where there was a bottle of some kind of alcohol on every square inch of the counter. _Lovely._

Sophia trailed behind her.

"You good?" She asked, grabbing her arm, her face full of concern.

Kacey ran her hands through her hair and smiled. "I'm fine, Soph. Go have fun."

Sophia smiled back and squeezed Kacey's hand, then turned around and disappeared into the darkness.

Sophia could always have a good time, even if she didn't know anyone. Kacey envied this about her, but admired it as well.

Grabbing cup off of a nearby table (not to drink, just to give off the illusion that she was enjoying herself), Kacey tried to see if she could make out any of the faces around her. She did recognize a few people from school, but everyone was drunk, high, or both. Kacey mostly kept to herself at school. It's not that she didn't want to get to know anyone, it's just that she preferred being alone. It was comfortable. Familiar.

 _Maybe too familiar._

Deciding to try to find an empty seat somewhere, Kacey slowly made her way through the throng of sweaty people. The heat was radiating off of everyone there and was fogging up the windows. Kacey wrinkled her nose. She could already feel her thick hair getting damp from the suffocatingly-hot temperature of the room.

Eventually, she spotted a vacant seat. While she was making her way over, she almost lost her balance due to spilled drinks and sweat. She balanced herself and sat down and took note of her surroundings. Some guy and a girl who was sitting on his lap were making out on the other end of the couch. She didn't mind; she was used to it.

For a while, she sat alone and watched everyone around her. Honestly, this was what she preferred. A classic introvert, Kacey felt more comfortable observing that participating. While Sophia never pressured her to do anything she didn't want to, Kacey knew that Sophia didn't understand her. Yet, they still got along. Probably because they were so different, and naturally balanced each other out.

Kacey's phone buzzed in her pocket. Grabbing it out of her jean shorts, she was almost blinded by the illuminated screen. _So dark in here._ She quickly turned down the brightness and unlocked her phone.

A text from Blake. It wasn't coherent, considering he was probably trashed. He was at a bar in downtown Chicago.

Blake was gay, and very similar to Sophia. He partied constantly, but tended to be more conservative than Sophia regarding his sex life. Though he and Sophia were alike, they also had their differences. He could be more serious than Sophia, which Kacey appreciated. He was easier to talk to about deeper issues, and he knew more about Kacey's life than Sophia did. It was nothing against Sophia, but Blake had always been that type of friend.

Sophia and Blake fed off of each other's craziness. Their energy was infectious, and everyone in the room always lit up at the sight of them when they were together. Kacey didn't care that he and Sophia hooked up with a lot of people. It just bothered her that they were all completely random. She wasn't like that, so maybe she just didn't understand. She didn't think she was better than them, of course, she just was never one of those girls. _And probably never would be._ Her distrust of men had manifested itself as complete and absolute fear of anything to do with guys. _Thanks, Dad._

A loud crash startled Kacey out of her pity party.

Scanning her eyes around the room to locate the source of the commotion, she felt someone's eyes on her.

She casually moved her head towards the stranger, locking eyes with a semi-familiar face.

 _Carl Gallagher._

He was sitting across the room on a cracked leather chair. Even though it was dark, his cornrows gave his identity away. She tried hard not to burst out laughing. _Why does he have cornrows? He's white. Does he know that?_

Sure, he had been in juvie for a while, but he looked utterly stupid.

A girl was leaning up against him, her head resting on his shoulder; she was completely passed out.

 _Dominique._

Dominique wasn't very nice. To anyone. She had an uppity attitude and hated Kacey and her friends. For no reason whatsoever. Look, Kacey wasn't ignorant. If she was from South Side and saw a bunch of people in her school with tons of money and not a care in the world, she would probably treat them coldly too. But still, it was frustrating that everyone assumed her life was pretty much perfect. To be frank, Dominique was kind of a bitch.

Kacey knew Carl's home life was rough - rougher than hers.

His father Frank was known as a drunken asshole, and his mom was out of the picture. Kacey had seen his sister Debbie around school, and had recognized his other siblings around the city. She had never seen Frank but knew he was a frequent guest of The Alibi Room. _Like my dad._ Kacey shook her head. _Don't think about him right now._

To be completely honest, Kacey was curious about him. She had heard that he was selling guns in the boy's bathroom, but tried not to believe it. Then again, he had been hanging around guys who were notorious for selling drugs, firearms, etc. Not the best group of people to be associated with.

* * *

Carl didn't turn away when she looked at him. He was slightly squinting at her, as if he was confused. Kacey felt a little uncomfortable. Guys never really noticed her. And if they did, she completely ignored them. They were usually interested in only one thing: sex. She didn't want to be so stand-offish, but this is how she had to deal with guys in order for them to leave her alone.

In response to his stare, she jutted her chin out then slowly raised an eyebrow, as if she was wordlessly saying "Try me." Though Kacey was shy, she never took shit from anyone, especially guys. Growing up under her dad's roof had at least taught her that.

A few seconds passed. It was an intense stare-off. Then, a smile slowly appeared on his face.

Kacey narrowed her eyes and knit her eyebrows together in confusion. Before she could try to comprehend what was happening, a bunch of sloppily-drunk guys blocked her view of him.

 _What the hell?_

By the time the boys moved, Carl and Dominique were gone.

 _What was that about?_

Her and Carl had never interacted before. He was in a few of her classes, but they had never spoken a word to each other.

For another half hour, Kacey witnessed the party unfold before her. It distracted her from thinking about the exchange she and Carl had just had.

People made out, grinded, drank, smoked, the usual. Eventually, Sophia rushed over to her, slurring that she was tired and wanted to go. Sophia got sleepy and laughed a lot when she was drunk, finding almost everything hysterical. This made it easy for Kacey to deal with. She normally hated being around drunk people, but Sophia was entertaining. She drove Sophia home, but had trouble getting her buckled because she kept swatting Kacey's hands away.

"Stopppp ittt!" Sophia kept repeating, giggling like a maniac. Kacey eventually got her strapped in then made sure Sophia got into her house without tripping all over the place. Kacey then drove to her house.

Overall, it was a pretty boring night. But, she had finally experienced a South Side party. It had been interesting, but definitely crazier than she had anticipated. By now, it was 3 a.m. and Kacey was struggling to keep her eyes open. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and got into bed.

As she gradually drifted off to sleep, her thoughts went back to Carl Gallagher.

 _Stop overthinking it. He was probably drunk and didn't know what he was doing._

 _Right?_


	2. Curiosity and Cornrows: Carl

_11:37 p.m._

Carl walked on the uneven pavement, quickly making his way to Dominique's house. He was supposed to get her at 11:30, and Carl knew her dad wasn't a very tolerant person.

 _He's gonna kill me one day._

He started to jog, his red jacket flapping in the wind.

He arrived at Dominique's two minutes later panting heavily. He caught his breath, then knocked lightly.

Her dad answered the door with a stern look on his face. "You're late," he said sharply.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Carl replied apologetically.

Her dad glared at him for a few seconds (which felt like a lifetime to Carl), and then moved aside to let him in.

Carl hurriedly stepped inside before her dad changed his mind. Dominique was walking down the stairs and smiled once she made it to the bottom, then kissed him on the cheek. "Hey, you ready to go?" She asked.

"Yep," Carl replied nervously. Her dad was silently staring at him, raising his left eyebrow.

 _Oh fuck._

"Dad, we have to go! Stop trying to scare Carl!"

He looked Carl over once more. "Back by 2?"

"Yes, sir," Carl said politely.

Deep down, Carl knew Dominique's dad didn't _entirely_ hate him. I mean, he trusted Carl enough to take Dominique out this late.

 _He has to like me at least a little._

Dominique grabbed his hand and opened the door, dragging Carl outside.

"Bye Dad!" Dominique shouted over her shoulder as she walked quickly down the steps, still holding Carl's hand.

Carl didn't dare look back.

15 minutes later, they arrived at the party Carl heard about from Nick. It was pretty wild, but exactly what Carl expected. South Side parties weren't usually very tame.

Grabbing two beers from the kitchen counter, Carl led Dominique through the sweaty crowd, nodding to a few people he knew as he made his way through.

He spotted a chair and motioned towards it so Dominique would understand.

 _So loud in here._

However, Dominique wasn't paying attention to him. She was talking to a few of her friends that were there.

Carl waited patiently so he wouldn't lose her in the crowd. When she was finished, she grabbed his arm and moved her head closer to his hear.

"I'm gonna go take a few shots with them," she screamed, trying to make her voice heard over the angry rap song blasting through the speakers.

"Okay, I'll be over there," he shouted back, pointing at the leather chair in the corner. She smiled at him as a response and turned away, disappearing into the mass of bodies. Carl quickly made his way over to the chair hoping no one would take it before he reached it. He sat down and cracked open his can of beer, placing the other one for Dominique on the floor. Despite most people his age, Carl wasn't a big drinker. Frank had showed him what alcohol can do to a person. And a family.

 _Fucking Frank._

For a little Carl silently watched those around him. He talked to a few people, but most of them were completely trashed or just really out of it as a result of the array of drugs that were pretty much everywhere. There was even a bowl with many different-colored pills that people were grabbing handfuls of then throwing in their mouths, washing them down with some type of alcohol.

 _Idiots._

Even though Carl had sold drugs before he went to juvie, he never used. First, it wasn't smart to use your own merchandise. Second, he wasn't into that kind of stuff despite the popular belief that he was a "bad boy." The guys he hung around were into that kind of shit but he wasn't.

It was hard to see who was there. He craned his head to try to find Dominique, but she was nowhere to be seen. This worried him. _Her dad is gonna kill me if something happens to her._

Before he could dwell on this thought, though, he was distracted by the entrance of someone he didn't think he would see at a South Side party.

 _Sophia Ross._

He knew Sophia was a partier because of her reputation around school, and how she did occasionally come to South Side parties. Yet, he had never expected to see her at one, _especially_ at this one since it was pretty crazy. She walked through the crowd while holding on to someone's hand. He couldn't see who it was. Then, she suddenly turned around and pushed her way back through the horde of people.

Before he could question it, Dominique showed up at Carl's side. He stood up and she immediately grabbed on to his arm, swaying heavily. She was smashed.

 _Great._

"Heeeyyyy Carrrllll," she slurred, smirking at him and almost tripping over her own two feet. She fell back onto the chair. He gently moved her aside so he could sit next to her.

"Dominique?" She was leaning against him; it looked like she had passed out.

 _Shit._

He decided to wait it out so she would sober up a little before he took her back. It was 1:00 a.m. at that point.

She smelled like vodka and to be honest, Carl hated the smell of it. He hated the smell of alcohol in general. It reminded him of all of the times he had witnessed his dad drunk, the smell of beer on Frank's breath.

A few moments later Sophia emerged again. This time, she was dancing wildly and holding a bottle of tequila with a group of guys around her. He had never met Sophia. He generally avoided that group. He didn't hate them, but he did envy them. It was hard to like them after watching them pull up to school in expensive cars without a care in the world.

Carl looked over the room. Truthfully, he was kind of bored. He had never really enjoyed parties and usually just went to them to have something to do. Some were kind of interesting. But it was hard to have fun when everyone around you was trashed.

In a corner across the room he noticed a couple making out on the couch. The guy was someone he "worked" with. Most of the guys here were people he met through Nick, or people he did "business" with. He glanced over, towards the opposite side of the couch. Then, Carl did a double take.

What surprised him more than seeing Sophia here was seeing the person on the other end of the couch.

 _Kacey Bruno._

She was a part of the group of kids who were rich and lived in nice houses. Basically the opposite of the kids living in South Side.

 _What is she doing here?_

Kacey didn't have a partying reputation. In fact, she didn't really have a reputation at all. It surprised Carl that she was holding a red solo cup; she didn't seem like the drinking type. Kacey was quieter and more reserved than most of the people she was friends with. Carl had a few classes with her, and she tended to keep to herself. But the few times she _did_ talk, she had seemed really nice.

He remembered a time when a girl in his grade had broken her leg and was unable to carry her books to her classes. Kacey had walked her to every class. For a few weeks, Kacey was late to the classes she had with Carl. Her teachers didn't seem to mind, though. He knew she was smart, and the teachers loved her because of this. And he knew she loved to read. In their English class together, she always got super enthusiastic when they had discussions. It was one of the rare times she talked a lot.

Kacey was sitting on the couch, silently observing the people around her. Eventually, she checked her phone. The light illuminated her face and she quickly dimmed it.

 _It's so goddamn dark._

Dominique shifted slightly and moved her head farther from Carl, but he didn't really notice. He was thinking about Kacey's father; Frank actually knew him from _The Alibi Room._ Carl had seen him there on the rare occasion when he went there to find Frank.

 _Why is her dad there so much?_

Carl narrowed his eyes, still looking at Kacey. He was kind of intrigued by her.

 _Maybe both of our dads are alcoholic assholes._

There was the sound of a bottle smashing in the room adjacent to him, but he was still staring at Kacey, lost in his thoughts.

 _He can't be like my dad. Everyone would know._

Pretty much everyone in Chicago knew Frank was an alcoholic dick.

Carl saw Kacey slowly scan the room over. Then, she looked directly at him. For a few seconds she squinted at him and was trying to figure out who he was. A look of recognition, then confusion, appeared on her face.

He didn't look away.

 _Stop staring at her you creepy fuck._ But he didn't.

He expected her to look away in fear of him. Most people these days were terrified to be in his presence. Probably because he hung around Nick, who looked like he could kill a kid just by slapping them. Also, everyone knew Carl sold guns at school. Even the teachers knew. But they didn't punish him: they just bought guns from him.

He had a ruthless reputation. Rumors were always spreading around about him, each one crazier than the last. Some people had made up a rumor that Carl had killed a guy because he had looked at him wrong, and that's why Carl went to juvie. He was sure Kacey had heard all of the rumors.

Yet, she didn't look away.

To Carl's surprise, she sharply moved her head up and raised an eyebrow. It looked like she was saying "bring it on," without actually saying it.

Carl just stared in shock, almost speechless. Pretty much everyone avoided eye contact with him or any form of contact with him in general. And here was this harmless girl who was basically telling him, a known drug-dealing/gun-selling criminal, to "back off."

She continued to glare back at him, an intense determination in her eyes.

Carl started to smile. He couldn't help it. She was the first to not be intimidated by him in a long time.

Honestly, it was nice. He was sick of everyone avoiding him. Sick of being feared. Sick of being a "delinquent."

Kacey frowned a little at his smile, looking puzzled.

Then some guys came plowing into the room and blocked his view of her. Right then, Dominique awoke from her drunk stupor and sat up slowly. Carl averted his eyes from the drunk guys and looked at Dominique.

"You good?" He asked, slightly out of it.

She held her head in her hands and her face was screwed up in pain.

"I don't feel so great," she shouted, now placing her hands over her stomach.

Carl checked his phone for the time. _1:30._

He decided he should just take Dominique back a little early. Hopefully her dad was asleep.

"Come on. I'll get you some water." He helped her get up and she held onto his arm as they navigated their way through the doorway to the kitchen. Carl glanced back at Kacey before he left the room. She was looking at the leather chair he had been sitting in, her eyebrows knit together and a look of bewilderment etched on her face.


	3. The Catcher in the Rye: Kacey

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

Kacey would kill to get more sleep. It had been a short weekend, yet still kind of exhausting thanks to the party and the amount of school work she did on Sunday night. She grudgingly rolled over and shut off her alarm. It was always a challenge to coax herself to get out of her bed. Her covers were so warm and she didn't exactly want to face the day.

 _Okay. I'll count to three then get up. One. Two. Three._

Kacey slowly sat up and stretched her arms, yawning loudly and stepping out of her bed. _Ugh._ Throwing on jean shorts and a t-shirt, she made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She caught her reflection in the mirror, and her hair was wild. _It'll hurt like a bitch to brush out._

Her morning ritual didn't take very long; Kacey almost never wore makeup and it was rare for her to spend more than five minutes doing her hair. This allowed her more time to sleep in. She dragged a brush through her hair but ended up getting too frustrated and slammed the brush down on the counter. _It's school, not a fashion show._

She made her way downstairs and snatched the lunch she had made the night before and put it in her backpack. After quickly eating a banana, she grabbed her keys from the hook next to the front door and shut it behind her, making sure she locked it. Her dad had already left for work.

It was warm outside. The sun shone down on her as she trudged over the green grass towards her car. Kacey hopped into her blue Jeep after throwing her backpack in the trunk and put her key in the ignition. The car rumbled as she turned on the engine and put it in reverse, slowly backing out of the driveway. It was a relatively short drive there. It usually only took about 15 minutes. Sometimes less. As she pulled into school, a bus passed her as she was parking. _Thank God for my car._

Since she had her own car she didn't have to wake up half an hour earlier just to catch the bus. Though she hated her dad, she was extremely grateful that he allowed her to have a car. _And such a nice one, too._ She loved her Jeep and often went driving to clear her mind. The most peaceful she ever felt was when she was in her car on a sunny day, driving down this winding road near her house and blasting music. That was her calm. Her sanctuary.

"Kacey!" Someone shouted from behind her as she was getting her bag out of the back. She turned around. _Blake._ She smiled. He caught up with her and they started walking towards the school entrance.

"So how was your weekend? Phia _(their nickname for Sophia)_ told me about the rager you guys went to." He smirked. "I burst out laughing when I pictured you at a South Side party." Blake smiled at her mockingly.

Kacey snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it was exactly how I wanted to spend my Friday night. Surrounded by people who think I'm a stuck-up brat while navigating my way through a cloud of smoke and trying not to slip from all of the spilled alcohol."

Blake smiled. "You say that about every party."

Kacey laughed. "Because they're pretty much all the same!" Kacey responded. "So how was _your_ weekend?"

"Pretty boring, actually. The bar I went to was a bust since the cops showed up. I mean, I don't get why I couldn't stay. I was completely sober when they showed up!" He exclaimed.

Kacey smirked. "Well, it probably has to do with the fact that you're 17. Still a minor and 4 years away from the legal drinking age."

Blake frowned.

"How did you even get in?" Kacey asked.

"I have a fake ID and I'm hot." He replied. Kacey swatted him. "Plus, Charlie was with me and he looks old enough to be 21."

Charlie was 18 and went to a different school. Blake had met him at one of the parties Sophia brought him to in some swanky part of Chicago. Blake and him were just friends, though.

"Too bad you didn't come to the party. You could have seen me sit on a couch for two hours and stare at everyone around me."

Blake laughed.

Kacey looked at the clock. "Ugh, I gotta go. I have an in-class essay and don't want to be late." She backed towards her locker as Blake started walking the opposite way.

"Alright. I'll see you later. And tell your friends from South Side I say hello!" Blake shouted over his shoulder.

She rolled her eyes again. He sounded like a brat, but she knew he was just trying to tease her. It didn't matter that the party had been in South Side. She was always incapable of having fun at one, no matter where it was, or who was there. It was incredibly frustrating.

 _I'm supposed to be young and stupid._

Yet, she felt so much older than her classmates. In a bad way.

Blake didn't know the extent of her dad's drinking; Kacey herself hadn't come to terms with his alcoholism until recently. She had just assumed that it was considered normal.

Kacey opened her locker kind of forcefully, then threw the books in she needed. She was in a bad mood now.

 _My dad isn't anywhere near me and he can still put me in a shitty mood._

The bell rang and she slammed her locker shut. Throwing her backpack over her shoulder, she hustled her way to English class. As she walked through the doorway she noticed that pretty much everyone was already there, joking around and talking before the bell rang to begin class. She sat down in her usual seat which was on the edge of the second to last row. She then put her backpack on the floor and waited quietly for class to begin. They were having a test on _The Catcher in the Rye_ , a book she had come to love. Then again, she liked almost every book they read. Reading these literary classics was something she was excited about. And when it came to school (and junior year), there was rarely _anything_ to look forward to. Reading had always been an escape for her. She loved slipping into another world and forgetting about the shit in her life.

The bell finally rang and her teacher began passing out sheets of paper for the essay. As she received hers, Kacey felt someone in the back row staring at her out of the corner of her eye. She glanced diagonally towards the back.

 _Oh my God._

Her lips parted lightly in shock.

She was looking directly at Carl Gallagher. Again.

 _I totally forgot he was in this class._

She had been pretty distracted this morning and hadn't thought about their "interaction" at the party _,_ or that she would see him in her first class of the day. This time, however, he wasn't smiling. He looked serious. Not mad or anything. Just kind of...intense.

 _What is with this boy?_

She tried to think of any situation she had been in that could have remotely related to Carl that would have prompted his sudden interest in her. She came up with nothing.

He nodded upwards.

Kacey didn't try to hide her confusion. Carl then averted his eyes from hers and looked at the prompt written on the board, acting completely normal. Kacey turned her head towards the front and tried to make sense of what just happened.

 _What the hell is this? And how the fuck am I supposed to focus on this essay now?!_


	4. The Catcher in the Rye: Carl

Carl groaned when Fiona came barging into his room to wake him up for school. He was exhausted. "Let's go, Carl! Liam, get up!" She quickly walked back out, leaving the door open.

 _I should just drop out. Everyone expects me to anyway. Then I could sleep._

He rolled over and yawned loudly. He gradually sat up then jumped down from the top bunk.

"Liam, come on. Wake up." Carl gently shook him. Liam rubbed his eyes and slowly started to get up as Carl dug around for clothes. He threw on a t-shirt, sweatshirt, and baggy pants then got to the bathroom before Debbie could beat him there.

While he brushed his teeth he started thinking about his weekend.

Dominique's father was asleep when they had arrived at her house which was good. But it could have easily gone completely downhill. It was hard to go out with Dominique. She got really drunk at pretty much every party, leaving Carl to have to clean her up afterwards so her dad wouldn't kill him. He couldn't really blame her since everyone got super drunk, too. But he was kind of tired of it. Of everything. He had felt this way for a couple of weeks. It had been fun at first: making tons of money and partying nonstop, enjoying his bad-ass reputation. But now it was getting old.

Later that Friday night as he was falling asleep, he thought about Kacey, trying to figure out why he was suddenly so interested in her. He guessed it was because he had never interacted with her, so he had never really thought about her as a result.

His thoughts kept returning to her dad. _And where is her mom?_

Carl's curiosity had gotten the best of him that Sunday night: he had decided to talk to Frank about it. None of his siblings — or Carl himself — ever willingly sought out Frank to just talk. But Frank was already at their house sleeping on the couch, so why not?

Carl crept downstairs late that night and saw his dad snoring on the couch. "Frank." Carl shoved his shoulder to try to wake him up. "Frank!" Nothing. "FRANK!"

Frank's eyes opened. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. "What the hell? I was sleeping!"

Carl rolled his eyes as he sat on the arm of the couch.

Frank stretched his arms then grudgingly sat upright. "Well, you might as well go get me a beer since you woke me up."

Carl ignored him. "I have a question."

Frank groaned. "Are you going to whine to me about something? That's all you and your siblings —"

"Jesus, Frank, just stop talking!" Frank went silent. Carl gathered his thoughts. "So, you know a guy with the last name Bruno, right?" Carl asked.

Frank's face lit up. "Bruno! An _upstanding_ man!"

For Frank to think highly of someone, it usually meant that person wasn't too great.

Carl continued on. "How often is he at The Alibi Room?"

Frank frowned. "Why do you need to know this? He has a right to live his life as he wants! Just like I do! But you all don't seem to think —"

Carl sighed. "Since you're being an asshole, like usual, I'll just be straightforward so this will end quicker," Carl said. "Is he an alcoholic?" Carl knew Frank would dodge the question, since he himself didn't think anything was wrong with being drunk pretty much every minute of every day.

"He likes to drink with me! So sue us, for enjoying each other's company! We have a lot of laughs and bond over the disrespect our children show us. I think he has a daughter, I forget her name."

"Kacey." Carl stated without thinking.

 _So her dad talks about her? Obviously not in a good way._

Frank narrowed his eyes. "Ah, yes. But no matter, our children show an equal amount of ingratitude towards us and —"

"Okay, thanks Frank, bye." Carl said as he rolled his eyes again and briskly made his way back upstairs.

His dad had pretty much confirmed what Carl had suspected: Greg was like Frank. This made him feel bad for her. Really bad. If her dad was anything like Frank, then her life must be harder than people realize.

 _Why does no one talk about it? Does anyone know?_

Carl realized he had forgotten to ask Frank about Kacey's mom. Then he realized something.

 _Why does Greg go to The Alibi Room? He has a lot of nicer bars that are closer to him._

Carl dwelled on this a little longer. Then he stopped himself.

 _Why am I so intent on knowing all of this?_

Carl finished brushing his teeth and made his way downstairs. He had yet to come up with an answer to his question: he had no idea why he cared so much. Maybe because he could relate to her, even though they supposedly led completely different lives.

 _But not as different as I thought._

Carl met up with Nick before walking into school. "Hey, man. How's the new bike?" Carl asked him.

Carl didn't hear Nick's answer, though. He saw Kacey grab her backpack out of her trunk, then turn around and greet someone. He recognized the guy she was with.

 _Blake Miller?_

Carl only knew Blake by reputation. Some guys had given him a hard time last year for being gay. Carl had only heard about it, but apparently it was pretty bad. Carl knew the guys who had annoyed Blake. _Complete cunts._ They were rich, arrogant, and entitled. Carl hated them.

Carl walked inside the school with Nick and went straight to his first class. "I'll catch you later, man." he said as they parted ways. Nick nodded and turned around. Carl sat down in his seat for English, Completely unprepared for the essay they were just about to write. To be honest, he wasn't even really sure what book it was on. He had heard the name "Holden" a lot during their discussions.

People piled into the room and smiled cheerfully while talking to their friends.

 _It's 8:30 in the fucking morning. Why is everyone so happy._

He put his head down on his desk for a minute.Then he remembered something. _Kacey's in this class._

He moved his head up and looked at her seat. She was there. Seeing her after the discussion he had had with Frank felt weird. It felt like he had been spying on her or something. He knew stuff that a lot of people didn't, and she had no idea that he knew what he did.

The teacher wrote the prompt on the board and the girl in front of Carl passed a piece of paper back to him. He muttered a "thanks" and looked over at Kacey again. This time, she noticed him looking. She looked surprised.

He thought of her dad, and what Frank had said. Her dad basically talked shit about her to people at the bar. _It makes sense why he and Frank are such good friends_.

Carl moved his head upwards, nodding to her, then directed his gaze to the board. He felt her eyes leave him a few seconds later. She had caught him staring at her twice.

 _Smooth._


	5. Cornrows the Sequel: Kacey

**Thank you all so much for following, reviewing, and favoriting! It means so much to me!**

* * *

Later that week during lunch, Kacey had told Phia and Blake about her semi-encounters with Carl.

They were confused at first and then started annoying Kacey by making "subtle" references to it. "Kacey that guy is staring at you. Could it be Carl in disguise?"

"For Valentine's Day he could give you a bouquet of guns instead of flowers."

"Does Dominique know about the intense eye contact you and Carl have been making?"

They were relentless.

"Guys!" Kacey laughed despite her irritation with them. "Stop!"

She knew they would tease her when she told them, but she didn't know it would be this bad.

 _It's Blake and Phia. What did I expect?_ She just hoped no one would overhear them.

After they joked about it for a little, Blake and Phia scrutinized every detail that Kacey had. Honestly, Kacey felt like a stalker. She felt like she was blowing this way out of proportion.

"Am I?" She asked her two best friends after telling them that just that.

Phia bit her lip, then simply said, "No. He clearly wants something. Or is interested in you. Even though you've never talked." Phia smirked. "Do you _want_ him to be interested in you?"

Blake laughed. "I think she does."

Kacey rolled her eyes. "It's like you said; I've never talked to him! Plus, he's dating Dominique." She sighed. "Look, let's just not overthink it. Change the subject."

Blake and Phia looked at her suspiciously, then started talking about some club they wanted to attempt to get into this upcoming weekend. However, Kacey was still distracted.

 _I wonder if he'll talk to me._ She shook her head. _Stop it! He doesn't care about you! He doesn't even know you! Snap out of it!_

The rest of the week went by in a blur. So did the weekend. Blake and Phia had tried to get her to go to the club with them that they had been talking about, but she refused. She spent her weekend hanging around her house and avoiding her dad. It wasn't hard to keep her distance from him, since he was out practically every night.

But every time she did see him, she had to play nice. If she didn't he could lose his temper. And he had a really bad temper. He had never hit her or anything like that, but he was pretty verbally abusive. She had figured out how to avoid his attacks, though. It was like a game. All she had to do was be friendly to him, even if he was drunk. Then he became easier to deal with.

She had also focused on her schoolwork that weekend and the week after it, successfully avoiding more discussion of the "Carl" situation with Phia and Blake. She was successfully able to pay attention to other things without getting distracted by it.

However, later that week, he was forced back into her brain.

His friend Nick had been arrested for murder. The murder of a child. This was spread around the school like rapid fire. _It's just good gossip for most people._ Kacey had felt sick when she had heard it from Phia, covering her mouth in shock.

Almost immediately she thought: _I wonder how Carl is doing._

She didn't see him around the rest of the week; people said he had helped Nick kill the kid for stealing a bike that Carl had bought. Kacey right away knew that wasn't true. _God, people are so dumb._

The story changed many times, and each time she heard it, it sounded crazier and crazier. One guy had said that Carl was on the run and fled the state. Another guy spread a rumor that Carl was hiding from the cops, and was planning to break Nick out of prison after his trial.

"Like _The Shawshank Redemption_ , dude!" One boy said to another in her science class. They started laughing. Kacey was on edge. She didn't know why she was so defensive over Carl. Probably because she hated how everyone was treating it like a joke. Some people were even making bets on which story was the truth, and which ones were lies.

She had heard one kid say to another "I'll give you 10 dollars if he's back by next week."

"Deal," the other guy replied, smiling.

 _Insensitive assholes._

And now the guys behind her in science kept talking about it. They wouldn't shut up. Kacey was about to burst.

 _Why won't everyone just leave it alone?!_

The guy sitting behind her whispered to his friend, "Do you think Nick will find another white kid to worship while he's in jail?"

 _That's it._

Kacey whipped her head around. "Shut the fuck up. Just SHUT UP! You have no idea what the truth is! So keep talking if you want a fucking black eye or your dick cut off!" She turned away. They were silent, but no one in their class noticed Kacey's outburst. Everyone else was talking, and the teacher was at her desk on the other side of the room grading papers. Luckily, the bell rang a few seconds later. Kacey wouldn't have cared if they had challenged her; she was livid and would have fought them right back, no matter what the consequences were. She was just so fed up with the way some of the kids acted at her school.

Kacey thought about it constantly that day, and all night as well. She barely slept.

 _At least today is a Friday,_ she thought, as she rolled out of bed the next morning. Then something unexpected happened later that morning. She had anticipated that Carl wouldn't be back until _at least_ next week. But about a half hour into her English class, he showed up. He walked to his desk with an impassive expression on his face and sat down. His cornrows were gone, and there was a huge gash on his forehead.

The teacher didn't say anything about him being late and just continued on with the lesson. All of the faculty knew what had happened. And everyone in the school knew Nick had been Carl's friend. He was kind of hard to miss, with him being so big and intimidating.

The whole class had stared at him as he walked to his desk. Kacey didn't. She looked down. She wanted to scream at everyone, "Mind your own business." Some people were still looking at him even though he was sitting down. _Jesus. Be more subtle._

The rest of the class went by quickly. Carl just stared at the board. Kacey glanced at him multiple times.

As she saw him leave, something grabbed ahold of Kacey and she threw her backpack on her shoulder and ran after him. "Carl!" He didn't look behind him.

 _Don't think. Just do it._

She paused for a second, then caught up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around with a cold look on his face. Then his eyes met hers and his expression softened. He raised his eyebrows; this time, he was the one who was surprised. Kacey swallowed. Her throat was dry.

She opened her mouth to say something, then froze. _What do I even say?_

She took a step forward.

His eye contact with her was making her lose her train of thought.

 _Just say what you feel._

"I'm…" She closed her eyes briefly then reopened them and sighed quietly. She met his gaze again.

"I'm so sorry." And she meant it.

He faintly smiled at her.

 _He looks so tired._

"Thank you." He replied.

Kacey smiled back at him. "And I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this bullshit." She waved her hand towards the mass of people rushing to classes. "They're idiots."

Carl fully smiled this time. As he opened his mouth to reply, Dominique walked past him, knocking her shoulder into his. She glared at him, then noticed Kacey. She looked perplexed by Kacey's presence. She looked back at him then rolled her eyes and walked away, shaking her head.

 _The fuck?_

Carl watched her leave then looked at Kacey. "Sorry about that. She's pissed at me."

"She's mad at you? Even though you've been dealing with all of this?" Kacey asked.

"Yeah, so I kind of broke up with her a few days ago." He replied.

 _Well Dominique's a bitch so good for you._

"Shit. You've had a rough couple of weeks."

Carl laughed. "Plus, I had to get rid of the cornrows." He motioned to his hair.

Kacey giggled. "Thank God you did."

 _I AM SUCH A BITCH! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?_

Carl's eyes widened. _He hates me now._

Then he burst out laughing.

"Ahhh oh my God I am so awful. I didn't mean to sound like an asshole. I'm sorry. Again." She smacked her palm on her forehead, but smiled at Carl laughing.

At that moment, the bell rang. _Shit._

Carl's laugh faded. "Don't apologize. Look, I'll let you get to class. I'll see you around?"

"Definitely." She smiled and turned around, walking towards her locker.

"Hey Kacey?" He shouted after her.

She turned around and locked eyes with him. "Yeah?"

"I didn't like the cornrows either." He smirked.


	6. Cornrows the Sequel: Carl

_The boy's clothes were sopping from the blood that covered him and the floor. His head was smashed in; it was so grotesque and awful that Carl felt bile rise at the back of his throat. He ran outside and emptied his stomach on the grass as he heard the boy's parents screaming. Nick was sitting on the front steps holding a hammer caked with blood. Carl felt like he was having a panic attack and ran as he heard the sirens bellowing down the street. He ran faster and faster. The sirens got louder. He pounded his feet on the concrete and didn't look back. It sounded like the police were right behind him: the noise were deafening. He tripped and slammed down on the pavement, his knees breaking his fall. He didn't get up and instead put his hands over his ears; the sirens just continued to blare. He screwed his face up in pain._

 _JUST MAKE IT STOP!_

Carl awoke at that moment. His sheets were soaked with sweat and his heart was pounding through his shirt. He briefly put his head in his hands and breathed deeply.

 _Every fucking night._

He felt like punching something. Ever since that day Carl hadn't been able to forget seeing the little boy sopping with blood, or the way his head was so nauseatingly deformed. All because of Nick.

 _Nick._

Carl didn't know why Nick did it, I mean it was just a bike. He guess he just didn't know Nick.

 _Clearly I didn't know him at all._

He had seemed like a decent kid. Nick didn't talk much but he was loyal and scared practically everyone, which was important when you were selling shit like guns. Carl downplayed how traumatized he was by it for Fiona's sake because he didn't want her to worry.

Lately, he didn't feel like himself. He felt distant, and just kind of empty. And mad.

 _At least I got of out of the job. All thanks to Sean._

If it weren't for Sean, Carl honestly didn't know if he would still be alive. They never let anyone walk.

 _But they let me._

He hadn't been to school for a few days, but Fiona didn't know this. He just walked around the city or sat in restaurants, sometimes going on the L and not getting off for a while. Carl didn't want to deal with school or the people in it. He was sure they were all talking about what happened and making up their own versions of it.

 _Assholes_.

That made him think of Dominique. Carl recently found out that she had been cheating on him. Compared to the Nick thing, it obviously wasn't that bad.

 _But I did get circumcised for her. What the fuck was I thinking?!_

He had avoided talking to her; it was obviously over between them. Plus, she hadn't been much of a support for him after he told her about what happened with Nick and the little boy. They had never really had a deep relationship. When Carl thought about it, he realized it was mostly just a _physical_ relationship. Which wasn't the _worst_ thing in the world, but he just didn't feel connected to her anymore.

He looked at the clock. _7:19 a.m._

Carl couldn't fall back asleep; his mind was way too awake. _Should I go to school?_

The thought depressed him but he knew he should. He would have to go back sometime. _Ugh._

He made himself get up before Fiona would come in and threw on some clothes.

 _They probably smell gross._ He hadn't washed the majority of his closet in a while.

He then dragged his feet to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His cornrows were gone; Fiona had taken them out after the whole Nick situation occurred. It was weird not to see them there. Honestly, though, he had never really liked them. For the past few weeks when he had had them, he felt stupid. He had started to realize how dumb it looked for some white kid to have cornrows.

 _I probably looked like a tool._

Carl made his way downstairs to eat. It was rare for him to wake up for school before he actually had to. Today, he could take his time getting ready. He made a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table.

About 20 minutes later he heard Fiona calling his name.

"CARRRLLLL." She shouted.

"I'M DOWNSTAIRS!" He yelled back.

He then heard her heavy footsteps and looked up as she appeared on the last step with a load of laundry. "You're up early." She sounded skeptical. She walked briskly around the kitchen after putting the laundry basket down, getting breakfast ready for Liam and everyone else.

"Yeah I couldn't really sleep." He grumbled into his cereal.

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him with concern.

"How are you doing with everything?"

Carl looked back and replied, "I'm okay." He smiled slightly.

Fiona smiled at him but still looked worried. Then Liam came down the steps and Fiona resumed making his breakfast. Carl stood up from his chair and grabbed his backpack from the floor. "I'm gonna head out." He directed to Fiona. He slung his backpack over his shoulder.

She glanced at him. "Alright, I'll see you later." She smiled.

He opened the door and was greeted by a cold gust of wind. It was around 8:00, but he took his time walking to school. He dreaded going back. Despite his hatred of the place (and the people), it was freezing out, so he sped up a little. He arrived late but didn't care.

 _What do I have first? English?_ He honestly couldn't remember, but decided to just go to that classroom anyway. _Even if it's technically not my class it's school either way._ He knew that was an idiotic logic but didn't care enough to try to remember his schedule.

He slowly opened the classroom door and recognized the guy in the front row. It was the right class. Carl mentally congratulated himself, but froze when he realized everyone was staring at him. The teacher kept talking, only glancing at Carl then continuing with the lesson. Carl didn't give a fuck that they were all staring. He made his way to the back row. But he paused for less than a second when he saw that one person wasn't looking at him...

 _Kacey._ With everything that went on, he hadn't really thought about her.

He reached his desk, avoiding people's legs and the multitude of backpacks that were on the floor, and sat down. Some people kept looking for a few more seconds then finally turned away.

 _Annoying little fuckers._

He stared at the board without reading it. It was impossible for him to pay attention or care about what was happening.

Throughout the class, he felt Kacey look at him a few times. This didn't bother him. He only wondered why she was looking. At the end of class he bolted out to avoid people glaring at him again, or asking questions. As he was pushing his way through the crowd of kids in the hallway, he heard someone yell his name.

 _Great._

He was in a really bad mood and didn't want to deal with anybody. The person tapped on his shoulder and he turned around with an unfriendly expression.

His eyes met with the stranger. It was Kacey. He instinctively changed the look on his face, making himself look more approachable and welcoming. His heart started beating faster and his mouth went dry.

 _What the fuck? Why am I so nervous?_

The surprise was hard to mask. He wondered what she was going to say. After a couple of seconds passed, she stepped closer to him.

He could see why so many guys liked her. She was hot. Really hot.

Yet, she was never with any guys when Carl saw her. Only Blake. Sophia was the one that was always surrounded by boys.

He didn't break eye contact until Kacey closed her eyes as if she was collecting her thoughts. She met his gaze again.

"I'm so sorry," she finally said. He could hear pain in her voice. And something else.

 _Anger?_

Carl smiled at her a little with gratitude. "Thank you." He really did appreciate it.

She smiled back, then gestured towards everyone in the hallway. "And I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this bullshit. They're idiots."

His smile got bigger. He opened his mouth but then someone knocked into him. He turned his head.

 _Dominique._

They glared at each other and then Dominique looked at Kacey. She looked shocked that Kacey was there, and was probably confused that her and Carl were talking. Dominique looked back at Carl then rolled her eyes and shook her head, walking away.

 _She cheated on me and she's mad that I'm not talking to her. The fuck is this?_

He looked back at Kacey. "Sorry about that. She's pissed at me." Carl explained that he had broken up with her a few days ago. He wasn't going to tell her what really happened, only because he didn't care enough to talk about it.

"God. You've had a rough couple of weeks." She replied.

He laughed. "Plus, I had to get rid of the cornrows," he said, pointing at his hair.

Kacey giggled. "Thank God you did." Almost immediately after she said it she looked horrified that she had. This caused Carl to burst into laughter.

 _She speaks the truth._ He liked it.

She kept saying sorry and he kept laughing until the bell rang. _I should let her get to class on time._ He told her not to apologize and that he didn't want to make her late. "See you around?" He stated it like a question.

"Definitely," she responded as she turned away. Truthfully, he wanted to keep talking to her but didn't want to get her in trouble. He watched her leave but felt an urge to say something else to her.

"Hey Kacey?" He asked, raising his voice over the commotion of the hallway.

She turned around and looked at him. "Yeah?"

"I didn't like the cornrows either." He smirked at her. She beamed back at him and laughed, then turned back around. She disappeared as she turned the corner. Carl looked down at the ground with a half-smile on his face.

 _What the hell is happening? Why is she talking to me?_

Then he thought about her dad, and how Kacey's life was a lot like his.

 _Except for the money._

As he walked to class, he thought about their conversation. She seemed different than the people she was associated with. More different that he had anticipated. She was incredibly nice. And witty. And smart. But Carl knew he was in dangerous territory. If they became close in any way, people would talk. Especially the South Side kids. They would give him a hard time and make fun of him for being friends with "one of them." And he knew that Dominique and her crew would be complete bitches to Kacey. _Why was I ever with Dominique?_

But then Carl shook his head.

 _It was one fucking conversation. Snap out of it._


	7. Trashy Reality Shows and Slurpees: Kacey

On the day Kacey had finally had a conversation with Carl it was incredibly hard for her to focus. She immediately told Phia and Blake what had happened during lunch, and they both smiled at each other and giggled like idiots when she was done.

"What?" Kacey asked as she glared at them.

"Nothing." Phia replied seriously; then she cracked a smile, causing Blake to burst into a fit of giddy laughter all over again.

Kacey rolled her eyes. "WHAT GUYS?!" She exclaimed. They always did this to Kacey; it was almost like they had a secret language.

"Well…" Blake looked at Phia and bit his lip. "It just sounds like, you uhh…" He laughed again and looked at Phia.

"OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT JUST TELL ME!" Kacey was annoyed, but also slightly amused (which she would never admit to them).

Phia looked at her. "It sounds like you were flirting with him. Big time." She smirked.

 _Was I?_

"And he was totally flirting back." Phia added, smirking again.

 _False._

"Oh come _on_ guys. I just said sorry about Nick, and apologized for everyone in this school for being assholes about it!"

Blake squinted at her. "And you also told Zack and Wesley that you were gonna cut their dicks off if they didn't shut up about it?"

 _How did he know that?_

"Who did you hear that from?" Kacey asked him.

"People talk, Kacey. Did you really expect Zack and Wesley not to tell anyone about you going off on them?" Blake replied. "Especially since you were defending _Carl Gallagher_?"

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" Kacey started to feel like she was on edge.

Phia looked at Blake as if she was wordlessly saying "shut up," then looked back at Kacey.

"What Blake is _trying_ to say is that people are gonna know what happened."

"So?" Kacey asked skeptically.

 _Why is this such a big deal? I just called them out for being dicks._

Phia continued. "At this school, you get shit for even being _seen_ with South Side kids. Not from the decent people here, but from the assholes like Zack, Wesley, and all of their friends. Obviously, Blake and I don't care who you hang out with. We're not prejudiced cunts who judge a person based on their lifestyle." Kacey smiled a little. "Look, all we're saying is that we want you to be careful."

Kacey shook her head. "Guys, I talked to him once. I'll probably never talk to him again."

 _Is that true?_

"Alright alright. We just don't want you to have to deal with getting shit from people." Blake responded.

"Thank you for caring." Kacey replied. "But even if they did give me shit, I think I could handle it. They're all a bunch of pussies." She smiled.

Blake and Phia laughed. "We don't doubt that." Phia said.

The bell rang and they got up from their lunch table, making their way towards the hall. Phia stopped Kacey before they left the cafeteria, and waved for Blake to go on without them.

"What's up?" Kacey asked.

"If Zack or Wesley or one of their friends tries to talk to you about what you said, what are you gonna do?" Phia looked concerned.

"I'm just going to tell them I really _will_ cut their dicks off if they come near me. Because I honestly would."

Phia laughed. "Nice. Well, I guess you always have to protect your man, right?" She smirked at Kacey.

"My man?" Kacey asked. Then she understood.

"CARL GALLAGH —" Kacey covered Phia's mouth with her hands before she could scream the rest of his name.

 _OH MY GOD._

A few people had looked over but Kacey didn't dare look back.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Kacey whispered angrily. But she couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face. "YOU ARE THE WORST."

Phia was laughing hysterically and trying to remove Kacey's hands.

"I SWEAR TO GOD PHIA I WILL STRAIGHT UP PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU EVER TRY THAT AGAIN!" Kacey was half-laughing at that point. Then she removed her hands from Phia's mouth.

"Okay, okay. I won't." She giggled and then her and Kacey parted ways as they walked towards their next class.

* * *

Kacey's weekend was pretty uneventful; she caught up on work and started her essay for History that was due next week. Of course, she was reminded of her encounter with Carl countless times from Sophia when she was over on Saturday night to watch a movie.

"So, how's your lover?" Phia asked with a straight face, then started to smirk.

"I'm so done with you." Kacey responded as she shook her head.

A few hours later, Phia left to go to a "small get-together" at some place near South Side which was about twenty minutes away.

"Are your sure you don't want to come?" Phia asked for the 10th time.

"Yes. I'm just going to watch trashy reality shows and eat." Kacey replied, waving the remote.

Phia sighed. "Okay fine. Text me tomorrow."

Kacey heard the door shut.

About an hour later, she heard a car door slam.

 _Oh God._ She started to feel anxious. _He's home._

She heard the familiar heavy footsteps as her dad entered the house and made his way to the kitchen. He always made something when he got home from drinking. It was usually spaghetti, really greasy homemade pizza, or a pile of nachos. Tonight, it was spaghetti. She heard him rummaging around the kitchen to try to find a pot to boil water.

Kacey's heart was pounding as she went to the kitchen to greet him. _I have to play the game._ She had to be nice, otherwise, he could ignore her, avoid her, withhold money, etc. etc. etc. He had done it many times before. But now, she knew how to deal with him.

"Hey Dad." She said shakily. He looked up from the drawer he was moving pots and pans around.

"Hi Kacey. What're you doing?" He continued to rifle through the cookware. She could definitely tell he'd been drinking. I mean, it obviously wasn't a surprise that he had; Kacey was used to it and was very skilled at recognizing if he even had one drink, let alone several.

"Just hanging out. Gonna head to bed soon." She yawned for emphasis.

"Okay." He was distracted. "Want me to make you anything?"

Here's the thing about Kacey's dad: he could be nice when he wanted to. He was very charming, and _everyone_ liked him. Except for Kacey. Look, she knew he wasn't entirely a bad guy, but he was never involved in her life. He treated her like an inconvenience, and basically wanted her to kiss his feet for the "many sacrifices" he makes "on a daily basis for her."

 _He's so ridiculous._

"No, I'm good, thanks." She smiled. "I'm just gonna go upstairs."

His back was turned to her as he found the pot and put it in the sink to fill it with water. "Alright, see you tomorrow."

Kacey left and went to her room then closed the door. _Ugh. S_ he hated being awake when he was here. It made her anxious. She was usually asleep when he came home during the week and on the weekends. And she always went to her room when they were in the house at the same time. He was so irascible and tended to be very sensitive when he was drunk. _Not a good combination._ So she tried to keep her distance.

Kacey read _The Catcher in the Rye_ for over an hour. She loved it, and was multiple chapters ahead of everyone else in her English class. Reading made her feel less alone.

A couple of minutes later she heard her dad walk up the stairs then shut his door.

 _Good, he's going to bed._ Kacey always felt better when she knew she was the only one awake. She didn't know why. Probably because she didn't have to worry if he would try to talk to her or anything.

By the time she put the book down it was 1 a.m. Kacey was tired, but she never really went to bed any time earlier than 2, no matter what. _I'm so bored._ She picked up her phone from her bedside table and the screen illuminated.

 _9 texts and 5 missed calls from Phia._

Kacey shot up from her pillow. _Is something wrong?_

She started to read the texts:

" _GRT OVWR HEREE E !.1!"_

" _ANSDFERR YOR PHOME"_

" _YUR BAAEB ISS ATT DTHIS PARTUYY"_

" _CALKLL MEE EE"_

The other texts were completely unintelligible. Kacey urgently called Phia back. She picked up after the second ring.

"GET OVER HERE BITCHHH!" Phia was screaming. It was clearly very loud where she was. Kacey held the phone away from her ear. _Ouch._

"WHAT IS HAPPENING?" Kacey yelled back. She prayed her dad wouldn't hear.

"HE'S HEREEEEE!"

"WHO?"

"YOURRR BOYYY!" Phia laughed loudly.

Kacey rolled her eyes. "IF YOU MEAN CARL THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOU."

"JUST COME HERE OR I'LL BE MAD AT YOU. IT'S AT ANDREW'S HOUSE YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS RIGHTTT?" Obviously Phia was drunk.

"WELL, YEAH I KNOW WHERE THAT IS BUT —"

"GREAT YOU BETTER COME YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE OKAY SEE YOUU SOOOONNNNN BYYYEEEE!" The phone beeped, ending the call.

Kacey stared at the screen. _Do I go?_ She _was_ bored and not really tired. _I actually wouldn't mind going._

Most of the time, Kacey was never in the mood to go out. However, there were always rare times when she actually wanted to. A surge of energy ran through her. _Fuck it I'm going. Though Phia's drunk, she's right. I'm sick of sitting here doing nothing._ Plus, a tiny part of her wanted to see Carl.

 _But what do I wear?_

She settled for a simple black t-shirt dress (which was fairly short) with sandals a few minutes later. She quickly put on a little foundation and mascara, then brushed out her hair.

She crept down the stairs and grabbed her keys then silently opened the door. Her dad honestly didn't really care what she did, plus he was a really heavy sleeper so he would never even know that she had even left.

Kacey hopped into her car then paused to make sure she could remember where she was going. _Andrew's house. Right._ She didn't even know his last name. But she had been there twice before and she thought she could figure out which house was his once she got to his neighborhood.

About 15 minutes later, she thought she recognized his house. There were a ton of cars on the street and she could hear music coming from the house. _Yep, definitely his._

She parked a little farther down the street since there were cars packed left and right. As she walked toward the house she felt the familiar pang of anxiety that accompanied her when she was going to an event. Well, an event with _alcohol._ But she was kind of tired of being scared of drunk people. Correction: she was _really_ tired of it. So she walked into the house with her head held high, pushing her way through to find Phia. _I wonder if Blake's here._

Finally, Kacey found Phia in the basement, along with Charlie and Blake. Phia ran over and hugged her.

"OHH MYYY GODDD!" She started jumping up and down. "I'M SO HAPPPYYYY YOU'RE HEREEEE!" Phia giggled and swayed a lot.

"Phia, let's sit down." Kacey grabbed her arm and made Phia sit on the small couch. "Hey Blake." Kacey smiled and he waved back.

"Ah, Charlie! Hey!" She said as she sat next to him and moved in for a hug. She loved Charlie but never really got to see him. He smiled at her and hugged her back. All of them smiled like vodka. "So glad you could make ittt!" He slurred. It was really hard to hear.

Phia then jumped up and screamed Kacey's name, then climbed over Blake and Charlie to get to her. They were pretty out of it, anyway, and didn't seem to care. Kacey laughed in confusion.

"WHAT?" She sensed what was coming.

Phia grabbed her shoulders and smiled slyly. "CARRRLLLLL." She was now jumping up and down.

 _She clearly thinks this is way more than it really is._

Kacey scoffed then screamed back, "SOPHIA I TALKED TO THE KID ONCE! IT MEANS NOTHING!"

Phia pouted. "FINNNEEE. WHATEVER YOOUU SAAYYY." She hiccuped. "I GUESSS THAT MEANNSS YOU DON'T CARE THAT HEE ASKED ABOUT YOUUU EARRLLIERRR." Phia poked Kacey on the cheek and started giggling hysterically.

 _WHAT? Is she lying?!_

"COME ON THAT DID _NOT_ HAPPEN," Kacey shouted.

"I SWEARRR! ASK BLAKE! OR CHARLLLIIEEE! OR EVEN BETTERR, GO FIND CARRLLL!" She smiled again.

"WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?" Kacey asked.

"HE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WERE COMINGGG."

 _Why?_

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

I SAID YOUU WEREE SITTING AT HOME AND WATCHINGGG KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIAANNSS." Phia laughed then plopped down on the couch and started talking to Blake and Charlie.

 _Of course Phia told him that. Ugh._

Kacey turned around and started scanning the room. She was searching for Carl; she would have seen him if he was upstairs. There were a ton of people in the basement. _Not really a "small get-together" like Phia said._

Kacey moved through the throng of people and tried not to get smushed. She could feel the sweat from people's clothing when she touched them to move them aside. _Ew._

Eventually, she made it to the other side of the room. _Wait, what am I doing?_ She paused. _I'm just gonna say hi. That's all. I'm being polite._

For a few minutes she stood there awkwardly. People were grinding all over the place, and others were making out. Empty cans of beer littered the floor.

 _I think he's gone._ She was slightly disappointed.

* * *

As she was contemplating whether she should leave, she felt someone lightly touch the small of her back. She turned to the side. She was face to face with Carl.

 _Holy shit._

"HEY." He yelled over the music, bringing his hand back to his side.

"HEY." She smiled back. Her heart started beating faster.

 _RELAX KACEY._

He leaned in and bent his knees a little so he could put his mouth close to her ear. "I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE." He said, his hot breath tickling her ear. She shivered a little.

"I DECIDED TO COME LAST MINUTE." She told him, her cheek brushing his hair as she leaned in.

 _His hair smells so good. And is he wearing cologne? It smells amazing..._

 _JESUS KACEY FOCUS._

He nodded. For a little they observed the chaos in front of them. Then Carl leaned back in. "Do you want to go somewhere quieter?"

Kacey didn't know what he meant. _Does he wanna talk or…_

Kacey looked at the crowd as he looked at her, waiting for an answer. She bit her lip then met his gaze.

 _I can't handle direct eye contact with this boy._

She leaned in to reply.

"I JUST…" She started to feel nervous. "I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKE…" She struggled for words. "I DON'T DO RANDOM HOOK-UPS." She glanced at him. He was smiling.

He leaned in again. "I PROMISE YOU, THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION. I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT." He looked directly at her, his facial expression more serious. "I promise," he mouthed.

Kacey stared at him for a second then her face broke into a smile. She nodded towards the stairwell and he understood. He went first through the mass of bodies and she followed. When they made it to the other side they walked up the stairs. It wasn't any quieter. They took a lap and it seemed to be even louder than the basement. Kacey looked at Carl with a small smile and shrugged.

He leaned in. "WANNA GO ON A WALK?"

Kacey hesitated, thinking. "HOW ABOUT A DRIVE? I HAVE MY CAR." She replied.

"SURE." Carl backed up and smiled.

She motioned for him to follow her to the front door. Once they made their way outside, it was amazing how much cooler and quieter it was.

"Thank God." Carl said.

"I don't know how people can last so long in there." Kacey responded.

"It's easier when you're trashed."

Kacey laughed. "Yeah. Too bad I don't drink."

Carl looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "You don't? At all?"

"No, i just um…" She tried to find an explanation that didn't include her dad. "It's just not my thing."

He didn't pressure her to elaborate. "Yeah, it's not really my thing either."

Kacey was genuinely surprised. "What?"

He smiled at her shock. "I have a few beers every now and then, but it's not something I really enjoy." Kacey nodded. They had reached her car at that point. "Damn. Nice car." Carl stood back and admired it.

"Thanks." Kacey unlocked it. "Now get in." She ordered, smiling.

He smiled and hopped in the passenger side. "So where are we going?" He turned towards her.

Kacey hadn't even thought about it. "Hmm. Wanna go to 7-11? I'm kind of craving a Slurpee."

He smirked. "Sure."

 _Is this even happening?_ Never, in a thousand years, would Kacey have expected that Carl Gallagher would ever hang out with her. Yet, here he was. In her car. Willingly. _This is crazy._

"Good. Now get buckled or I'm not driving." She commanded.

Carl playfully rolled his eyes. "You are such a mom."

Kacey laughed. He reached over his shoulder and grabbed the seatbelt then pulled it across him, clicking it in place. Kacey did the same with hers.

"Alright. Let's go." Kacey started the car.


	8. Trashy Reality Shows and Slurpees: Carl

**THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR RAVORITING/FOLLOWING/READING YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY**

* * *

On Friday afternoon, Carl arrived home from school to find Frank digging through their fridge.

 _You've gotta be fucking kidding me._

"What the hell are you doing here, Frank?"

Frank victoriously held up a beer bottle with a smile and popped the cap open. He turned around to look at Carl.

"It's my house, I can be here if I want!" He took a sip of his drink and walked towards the couch, then plopped himself down without closing the fridge.

Carl shrugged his backpack off and closed the fridge, sighing loudly. Although Carl didn't want to deal with Frank, he followed him and sat on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

They sat in silence and Carl closed his eyes. Moments later, Frank took another swig of his beer then turned towards Carl.

"How was school? Are you even going anymore?"

Carl opened his eyes and groaned. "Do you care?" He asked, with an edge to his voice.

"Not really. I'm still disappointed in you for giving up that job you had. We could have made thousands!" Frank exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air, causing the beer to spill a little.

 _And then we would have ended up in jail. Or have been killed._

"Frank, they want you dead."

Frank shook his head. "As do most people in this city. Yet, I'm still alive." He imitated Carl and put his feet up, then took another sip of his drink.

A few seconds later, Fiona came through the door. She saw Frank and immediately started to protest his presence. It was always the same back-and-forth between them that went something like this:

"Get out, Frank."

"This is my home! I will not stand to be treated like this!"

"LEAVE!"

"I worked hard for this house and this is what I get in return?! Absolutely no respe—"

"I'M GONNA GET THE BAT!"

Whenever Fiona mentioned the bat, Frank would slowly make his way to the door. Not peacefully, of course, but it got him to leave nonetheless.

This time wasn't any different. However, Carl was too tired to help Fiona. It had been too long of a day (and week) for him to really care what Frank was doing, so Carl tuned them out. After a couple of minutes of them arguing with each other, Carl heard his name come out of Frank's mouth.

"Wait what did you say about me?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

Frank made eye contact with him. "I was only saying that I came here to talk to you about your friend Kacey Bruno, since you were so particularly interested in her a few weeks ago." He was obviously lying so Fiona wouldn't kick him out, but Carl wouldn't be telling the truth if he said he wasn't a _little_ curious as to what Frank would possibly say.

Fiona looked at the two of them and groaned in frustration as she threw up her hands, then exited the room. Carl heard her pound up the stairs seconds later.

Frank sat back against the cushion and sighed then took a long, slow sip from his beer.

Carl heard Fiona's door close upstairs.

The silence continued. Carl glared at him. "Do you have something to say to me or not?" He was really annoyed.

 _He has nothing. Why the fuck did I let him stay here?_

"As a matter of fact, I do." He paused. "Could you get me another beer?"

Carl just stared, almost blinded by rage. He got angrier the longer he looked at Frank.

 _I am so sick of his bullshit._

Carl then shot up from the couch. "You are such a dick Frank. GET OUT!" He shouted as he pointed at the door.

Frank held his hands up in defense. "Look, if you want to talk about Greg Bruno or his daughter, we can. But I do not deserve to be kicked out of —"

Ian walked through the door and Frank looked at him and stopped talking. Ian glanced at Carl who was clenching his fists. He didn't even say anything; he just got the bat.

"Okay, okay! I'm going!" Frank held up his hands and backed away, then cursed under his breath and slammed the door on his way out.

Ian hung the bat back on the hook, and turned around to look at Carl.

"What's up?" He asked. "What did he say?"

Carl sighed then collapsed back on the couch. "Nothing. He was just being himself."

Ian flopped down next to him and put his feet up. "Yeah, Frank will always be Frank."

A few seconds later Carl heard the door open again. It was Debbie. She threw her backpack on the ground and fell into the chair across from the sofa. "Hey." She mumbled.

"How's it going, Debs?" Ian asked her.

"Fine. Just exhausted." She closed her eyes. Then there was a knock on the door. Ian looked at his phone.

"I think that's Trevor. I'll see you guys later." He got up from the couch and greeted Trevor as he opened the door. "Tell Fiona I'll be back later!" He directed at them before he shut the door behind him.

A few seconds later Debbie opened her eyes and looked at Carl. He noticed her staring at him out of the corner of his eye. "What?" He asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is going on with you and Kacey Bruno?"

Carl was taken aback. _What the fuck?! First Frank, now Debbie?_

Debbie stared at him.

"What are you talking about?" Carl felt a ripple of irritation. _Why doesn't anyone mind their own fucking business?_

"Well, apparently she yelled at some guys when they were talking shit about you and Nick."

 _What?_

"No one's said anything about that to me." Carl told her.

"Zack Curtis and Wesley Lucas have been telling everyone about it."

 _Zack and Wesley. Total cunts._ They were a part of the rich kid crew that Carl hated.

"But what happened?" He pressed.

"All I know is that they were in class together and they were saying stuff about you and Nick, then Kacey jumped in and told them to shut up or she would chop their dicks off." Debbie chuckled.

 _No way._

"Oh come _on_. That can't be true."

 _It's definitely a rumor._

Debbie shrugged. "I don't think Zack and Wesley would make that up. And Kacey hasn't denied it. I'm not really sure why she would defend _you_ , but whatever,"

Carl ignored the jab and looked down, completely perplexed by this information.

Debbie stood up after a few moments of silence. "Anyway. I almost forgot. I was gonna go to this party tomorrow night, and I'm supposed to ask you to come." She rolled her eyes.

The people in Debbie's grade thought Carl was cool. Not all of them thought that, but a decent amount. It annoyed Debbie a lot. She waved at Carl to snap him out of the daze he was in.

"Hello? Do you want to go?"

Carl was still distracted.

"CARL!" She raised her voice to gain his attention. He looked at her.

"Do you want to come or not?!"

"Maybe. I guess. I don't know." He looked back down, trying to register what Debbie had just told him.

She rolled her eyes again.

"Fine." She made her way upstairs and Carl heard her bedroom door close.

 _She told off Zack and Wesley?_

He found it a little hard to believe. No one ever stood up to those guys like that. Ever.

Then he thought about what Zack, Wesley, and all of their friends would do to "get back" at her.

 _If they know I'm friends with Kacey they won't do anything to her._

Truthfully, they were all scared of him. Even if they didn't admit it. They had always stepped aside when Carl passed them in the hall and never made direct eye contact with him.

He thought about it for a little longer, then came to a conclusion: he would find out if it was true or not by asking Kacey himself.

* * *

The next day, Debbie repeatedly asked Carl if he was gonna go to the party with her.

"Whose is it?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Some guy in my grade. He lives like 15 minutes away."

Carl didn't really feel like dealing with anyone right now. But he also didn't want to sit at home. He decided he would go, even if it was just for a little while.

"Yeah I'll go." He replied flatly.

"Try not to sound too excited." Debbie said with sarcasm.

* * *

Fast forward a few hours; Carl was sitting in the host's basement and talking to some kid next to him. The guy was pretty out of it but could still hold a conversation. Carl couldn't even understand the kid, but it was better than just sitting there doing nothing.

Moments later, a boy Carl recognized from school flopped down on the couch next to them.

 _Blake Miller._ He leaned in to say something to the guy Carl had been talking to.

Blake glanced up at Carl and looked surprised. He nodded at him and smiled. Carl looked at him skeptically in response. Suddenly, a girl came running up and grabbed Blake's arm, pulling him out of his seat.

 _Sophia._ _I think they call her Phia._

She shouted something in his ear and Blake laughed. Then, Sophia made eye contact with Carl. Her eyes widened and she pointed at him, jumping up and down. Blake smacked her hand down but was laughing hysterically. Carl just stared at them, completely confused.

It made him kind of mad. Everyone had been talking about him for so long. He just wanted to be left alone.

His train of thought was interrupted when Sophia abruptly ran towards him and sloppily sat down. She leaned in so he could hear her. He could smell liquor wafting off of her breath.

"You're friends with Kaceyyy right?" She smiled and stuck out her tongue a little.

Carl was totally caught off guard by this.

 _Why would she ask me that?_

He hesitated. _If Blake and Sophia are both here, then does that mean..._

"Actually, is Kacey here?" He shouted over the music.

Sophia pouted. "Noooo she's at home watching Keeping Up with the Kardashianssss." She rolled her eyes.

Carl's nodded slowly then looked away. Sophia smirked and was about to say something, but Blake suddenly appeared and yanked her off of the couch. She waved and almost fell as Blake pulled her away, trying to yell over the sea of people around them. Carl was alone now.

 _It's so fucking hot in here._

He saw a back door on the other side of the room and decided to catch his breath for a few minutes. Carl was greeted by a cool breeze when he exited the basement. A couple of other people were outside as well but didn't notice him as he sat down on a lawn chair. He checked his phone. He had one text from Fiona. It read:

 _Make sure you walk home w/ Debs._

Carl hadn't even seen Debbie since he had been here. They had walked here about two hours ago since it was so close and she had disappeared with a few of her friends the minute they had arrived. But he didn't know if he could stay here that much longer. He texted Debbie asking her when she wanted to leave, and she responded several minutes later.

 _I got a ride see you at home._

Carl stared at her response and leaned back against the hard chair.

 _Who the hell is gonna give her a ride?_

He shook his head and locked his phone, putting it in his pocket.

 _Whatever. That means I can leave now._

He got up and quickly made his way back to the basement. As he pushed past a group of girls dancing, he did a double take. He thought he saw Kacey out of the corner of his eye, but now her back was facing him. He squinted and inched closer.

She turned her head a little to the left as she scanned the crowd. It was her.

He froze in place for a second. He thought of how he had resolved to ask her what had happened with Zack and Wesley.

 _Is that weird if I ask?_

He was staring at her back as he fought with himself. She was wearing a short black dress and her hair was down. _Damn._

He ran his fingers through his hair and made himself focus. _What if it's not even true? Won't that be awkward?_

Carl mentally slapped himself.

 _Why the fuck would anyone make that up?!_

With that, he squared his shoulders and pushed his way towards Kacey. He felt nervous. His heart was beating faster.

 _Don't be a little bitch!_

He took a deep breath and slowly made his way over, softly touching the small of her back as he turned to face her.

* * *

"Cherry, Coke, Blue Raspberry, Lemonade, and Mountain Dew." Kacey read all of the flavors of the Slurpees out loud. "Pick your poison."

Carl smiled and motioned towards the Blue Raspberry. "The only good flavor there is." He grabbed a cup and handed it to Kacey, then got one for himself.

Kacey scoffed as she took it from him. "Seriously?! Coke mixed with Cherry is the _only_ Slurpee worth buying."

"Bullshit." Carl replied, smirking. Kacey shook her head but giggled as she and Carl filled their cups to the brim. At the register, Carl handed the guy money. Kacey's eyes widened and she immediately started protesting, while also trying to grab the money from the cashier. Carl stepped in front of her and gently grabbed her wrists.

"No. You are not paying." She said with force.

"It's just one Slurpee." His fingers brushed over her palm as she tried to remove herself from his grasp.

"Seriously no." She looked determined.

"You have no say in this."

Kacey raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" She replied in a challenging tone. She glared at Carl and he tried not to smile.

The cashier cleared his throat. "Your change, sir."

Carl was still holding onto her wrists but let go to turn back around and take the change. After he pocketed it he then handed Kacey her Slurpee. She scowled at him but took it. "Thank you," he and Kacey both directed at the cashier. Carl opened the door for her and she scowled again but exited the store. As they walked outside, Kacey peered at Carl. He saw her looking and looked right back at her, both him and Kacey stopping in their tracks. They had a staring contest for a few seconds, then Kacey unwillingly smiled.

"You're so annoying." She said, shaking her head and continuing to walk.

Carl laughed. "Holy shit it's one slurpee! Just say thank you and move on." He exclaimed as he followed her.

She shrugged then moved her eyes down. "Thank you." She mumbled.

"See? That wasn't so hard." He smirked.

She lightly shoved him as she started to laugh. "I hate you."

* * *

They sat on a bench a few feet away from her car, silently slipping their Slurpees. Carl had forgotten about asking her what had happened with Zack and Wesley (if anything _did_ happen).

He kicked a few rocks that were on the ground, feeling his nervousness come back. On the car ride over his anxiety had left him. They had talked about Carl's siblings which Kacey had seemed really interested in. Carl had asked her if she had any siblings. "No. Only child." She replied. "I'm jealous that you have so many."

"It's always chaos." Carl responded.

"I like chaos." She smiled.

* * *

Carl noticed Kacey bite her lip as she stared at her hands. Then she slowly looked up at him.

"Carl?" She quietly asked.

He slightly narrow his eyes, confused. "Yeah?"

"How are you doing with...everything?"

He was caught off guard for the second time that night. He didn't know what to say. If he were to answer honestly, it would sound pretty depressing.

 _She doesn't want to hear that._

Carl knew that wasn't true. He could tell she was genuinely concerned.

He paused. "Ummm..." He ran his hands through his hair. "I've been better, I guess." He half-smiled.

She bit her lip again and looked back down, then nodded.

"I just...I don't know...I just feel like you deal with a lot." She sounded nervous.

He watched her as she spoke. _I can't believe I thought she was a stuck-up asshole._ She was honestly the nicest, realest person he had ever met.

"I mean yeah, I do, but we all do. Right?" He thought of her dad. She smiled softly and nodded.

It was quiet for a couple of seconds, then Carl spoke up.

"I have something to ask you." He stated, trying not to sound nervous.

She raised her eyebrows. Carl was trying to figure out how to ask her without it sounding weird.

He looked at her. "So...Debbie told me something on Friday...and it had to do with you and...Wesley. And Zack." He stopped talking. Kacey's face broke out into a nervous smile. Her eyes widened and she put her forehead in her hands.

"Oh my God." She was laughing anxiously, her hands still covering her face. She groaned. "I can't believe everyone knows about it."

 _So it's true?_

"Wait. So what happened?" He asked her.

Kacey explained the story to him and he grinned when she told him that she had told the guys that she would cut their dicks off if they didn't shut up.

He shook his head when she was done. "I can't believe you did that. You didn't even know me."

She shrugged. "Yeah, but that didn't matter. They were being assholes."

 _Is this girl real?_

Kacey continued: "And they'll talk shit about you behind your back but would never say anything to your face. They're _terrified_ of you."

Carl smirked. "Yeah, they are. So if they try to mess with you I'll fuck them up."

Kacey looked shocked at what Carl said. Her lips were parted and she seemed like she was speechless. And then she quietly murmured "you don't have to do that."

"It's not something I feel like I _have_ to do. I _want_ to." Carl became more serious. "And this isn't something that I say I'll do and then never actually do it. I will. I promise."

Kacey grinned a little then looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers.

 _She looks sad. And kind of...scared?. Did I say something I shouldn't have?_

Before he would ask her what's wrong she clicked her phone on. "Oh fuck. It's 4 a.m." She looked at Carl and started laughing which made him smile.

"Come on, I'm driving you home." She said to Carl as she stood up.

"No it's okay, I can walk. I don't want you to get in trouble." He replied as he got up from the bench.

 _Her dad would kill her if he knew she was out with me._

Carl didn't know if that was necessarily true. But most parents thought he was a bad kid.

 _Not surprising of course._

Kacey dismissively waved her hand. "He doesn't care what I do. So let's go." She was backing towards her Jeep. He could sense a little anger in her response.

Carl paused. "Are you sure?"

"YES NOW COME ON!" She giggled and started walking to the car as Carl ran to catch up with her.

* * *

They pulled up to the curb right outside of his house.

"...and here's the chaos." Carl motioned to his house as they parked. Kacey grinned.

"Will you be in trouble for getting home so late?"

"Fiona will just yell at me but she'll get over it. She has other shit to deal with that's more important than me breaking my curfew." Carl said as he unbuckled.

He continued: "Also. I want to say thank you."

Kacey looked perplexed by his comment. "For what?"

"Thank you for shutting down Zack and Wesley. And thank you for the ride." He half-smirked.

She shook her head. "You don't have to thank me. For either of those."

"Well I just did." Carl playfully jutted out his chin and raised an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "You irritate me."

Carl laughed and opened the car door.

"I'll see you around?" Kacey asked hopefully as he stepped out of the car.

He paused, struggling with his thoughts. He knew he wanted to hang out with her more. _If I ask to see her again will she reject me?_

Carl had stepped out but turned around to face her, holding the door open.

 _Just ask. It's better than nothing._ He took a deep breath.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?"

Kacey looked a little startled over how direct he was.

"Um. Nothing. Why?" She asked, sounding anxious.

"I just..." Carl sighed. He looked down at the pavement. "I..."

 _Stop stuttering you fuck._

"I want to hang out with you." He met her eyes.

"Are you...for real?" She looked confused.

 _Does she not want to?_

"If you don't want to that's cool I just —"

"Oh shit no!" Kacey interrupted. That's not what I meant! Oh God." She covered her face again with her hands for a few seconds, then looked back at Carl. "I'm just confused why you would want to hang out with me. I mean, I'm pretty boring." She bit her lip.

 _Seriously?_

Carl narrowed his eyes. "That's not true. This is the most fun I've had in forever."

She scoffed.

"I'm being 100% serious!" Carl exclaimed, smiling.

"Fine. Whatever you say." She said as she rolled her eyes.

"So tomorrow night?"

A grin slowly appeared on her face. "Okay."

He beamed back at her. He couldn't help it. "I'll see you tomorrow." He started to close the door.

"Wait!" She called out before he could shut it completely. He opened it enough so he could see her. "Should I pick you up? What do you want do?"

 _Would she wanna hang out here? But she lives in a nice neighborhood why would she want to hang out in fucking South Side?_

Kacey was waiting.

 _She doesn't care about that shit. And it's not like we'll be going anywhere dangerous._

"Wanna come here? He asked her nervously.

She paused, then a smile appeared. "Absolutely."


	9. Seductive Smirks: Kacey

"OH. MY. GODDDDDDDD!"

Kacey flinched and held the phone away from her ear. Phia kept squealing in delight. Kacey had told her everything that had happened the night before, and knew Phia was going to freak out.

"YOU AND CARL GALLAGHER I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED OH MY —"

"PHIA!' Kacey interrupted. But Phia kept talking.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HOLY SH—"

"PHIA SHUT UP!" Kacey exclaimed.

Phia (finally) stopped screaming. Kacey paused to make sure Phia was listening, then took a breath.

"It doesn't mean anything, okay?"

Phia snorted.

"Seriously! He's not interested."

"Oh come _on_ , Kacey." Kacey knew Phia was rolling her eyes.

"He'S _obviously_ into you. How can you even try to deny that?"

Kacey shook her head. "Maybe he thinks he is. But he won't be for long."

 _We can be friends. That's all._

"What does that even mean?" Phia asked. "You guys were together until 4 a.m. You practically have already been on a date."

Kacey sighed.

"And you're seeing him again tonight. He clearly likes you."

 _Ugh._

"Now the question is: are you into him?"

 _Yes._

"No."

Phia laughed. "Nice try. I know you are."

"Look, I can be friends with him. I just...I don't know."

Kacey couldn't remember the last time she had liked a guy. She was terrified.

 _I don't even really know him. I'm overthinking this and making it into something more._

Phia sighed. "Fine. But if you don't call me or text me the details after you see him tonight I'll be super pissed."

Kacey smiled. "Okay, okay, I will. And tell Blake for me. I know he'll kill me if he doesn't know what's going on."

"I will. Oh , and one last thing." Phia replied.

"What?" Kacey asked.

"Don't forget to use protection."

"Fuck you."

* * *

Kacey's anxiety about seeing Carl tonight was almost overwhelming. She tried to distract herself by doing laundry, cleaning, reading, watching TV, etc. It wasn't working. It's not that she was scared to hang out with him; to be completely honest, she felt comfortable around him. But the fear was deeper than it seemed; Kacey was so used to being alone, and if that changed, so would her whole world.

 _We're just hanging out! Stop being so fucking dramatic!_

But still, Kacey's fear pervaded her thoughts the rest of the day.

Carl texted her later on telling her to come over at 8 and sent his address as well.

"See you then," she had responded.

* * *

 _7 p.m._

Kacey was losing it. She kept looking at the clock, willing it to speed upbut also slow down.

"Help me asdfghjkl" she had texted Phia.

Phia responded a few minutes later. "Don't stress! You'll have a great time. Btw, Blake couldn't stop laughing when I told him ;)"

Kacey rolled her eyes. "I hate you both." She responded.

"Have fun!" Phia wrote back.

After 45 _painfully_ long minutes, Kacey grabbed her keys, got into her car, and looked up the address on her phone. She started the jeep and turned on the radio to distract herself, blasting it through the speakers so she could drown her anxiety. _Here we go._

She put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway, then made her way towards Carl.

* * *

About 20 minutes later, as she was trying to ignore the massive butterflies in her stomach, Kacey scanned the street to try to find Carl's house. She stopped the car at what she thought was his and froze. She put the car in park and stared at the house.

 _Is this fucking real?_

If someone had told Kacey earlier in the year that she would be hanging out with Carl Gallagher, she would have laughed. But now it was her reality. Her car was running and she was still looking at the house when she saw the door swing open and Carl's head peep out. He smiled and waved.

 _Oh my God he probably thinks I'm so creepy. I was just sitting here and staring at his house._

Kacey turned off the engine. As she was stepping out of her Jeep, she saw Carl walking down the wooden steps of his house. She closed her door and locked the car.

 _Breathe._

She met Carl halfway and smiled. "Hey."

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt with dark blue shorts. His hair a little messed up from the wind, and he was smiling as he walked up to her.

He looked good.

 _Really good. Ugh._

"So I'm just warning you now." He gently grabbed her wrist and started pulling her towards his house. Kacey just let it happen.

Carl walked backwards as he spoke. "People go in and out of the house all day and night. It can be crazy."

Kacey had lost focus once he had taken ahold of her arm, but she internally slapped herself and moved her attention back to what Carl was saying.

"That's a lot different from my house." She said jokingly.

 _It's practically the opposite._

"I just can't promise that anyone will behave themselves." He sounded nervous.

 _Aw._

She shook her head as they approached the steps to his front door. "I don't care. Like I said, I like chaos." She smiled.

He smiled back and his fingers brushed her wrist when he let go so they could climb the stairs. Once they got to the top he held open the door for her. "Thanks," she said as she walked past him into the house.

"No one's here now." Carl said as he followed her. "But I'm sure someone will be soon. Do you want a tour?" He asked, half-joking half-serious.

"Actually, yes. I do." Kacey replied.

He gestured towards the stairs. "We can visit my room first." He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"You disgust me," Kacey responded as she moved to hit him, though she was fighting back a smile.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He laughed as he dodged her hand.

Kacey started to feel insecure. _But maybe he's not kidding. Is that really why he wanted me over?_

Kacey doubted it, but she was still a little skeptical as they climbed the stairs. Carl pointed out each room, including Fiona's and Debbie's. "And this," he said as he opened the door at the end of the hall, "Is the room I share with Liam and Lip whenever he's home." Carl motioned for her to go in ahead of him as he held the door.

Kacey froze for a second. _He's not going to try anything. Right? What if he really just wants to get with me?_

She felt like Carl could sense her hesitation (and fear) because he looked at her and paused, then became more serious.

"Kacey."

"Yeah?" She forced a smile so he wouldn't think that anything was wrong.

"I'm not trying to hook up with you. I promise." His eyes crinkled with sincerity.

Kacey froze again and opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

 _It's like he can see right through me. Goddamn this boy._

"I just want to hang out with you. My hands will remain to myself." He smiled a little but was being completely genuine.

Kacey grinned. "Sorry. I know that. It's just..." She bit her lip and looked at the ground, then met his eyes again. "Why _do_ you want to hang out with me?"

He laughed. "Really? Again?"

Kacey started laughing too. "I'm serious!"

Before he could answer though, someone yelled up the stairs.

"CARLLLL!"

 _Fiona?_

"WHAT?" He yelled back, mumbling a "sorry" to Kacey as he moved past her. Kacey waved her hand and mouthed "It's fine."

Kacey heard footsteps and Fiona appeared a few seconds later. She saw Kacey and smiled. "Who's this?" She asked.

"Kacey." Carl stated.

"Hey Kacey." Fiona smiled and waved. So what are you both up to?"

Carl shrugged. "Just hanging out."

Fiona looked suspicious and furrowed her eyebrows in curiosity. He put his hands up in defense.

"I swear! Just hanging out."

Fiona looked at the two of them and shook her head, but looked slightly amused. "Fine. Just stay out of trouble. I'm gonna be leaving soon." She turned around and shuffled towards her door. "Bye Kacey! Great meeting you!"

Kacey smiled. "You too."

Fiona shut her door and Kacey looked back at Carl. He put his hand back on the doorknob and opened the door a little. "So. Do you wanna see my room now?"

She playfully rolled her eyes. "If I must." Kacey moved past him into the room and looked to her right. "Bunk beds! I've always wanted one of these!"

Carl smiled. "I used to hit my head every morning when I sat up."

Kacey giggled, then looked past Carl. "Is that Liam's?" She nodded towards the smaller bed.

"Yeah, have you met Liam?" Carl asked.

Kacey shook her head. "No, but I've seen him a few times with your dad."

 _Oh fuck._ Kacey internally cringed.

 _Why did I have to bring up Frank?_ She hated Frank and didn't even know him. Practically everyone hated him, especially his kids. _Nice move genius._

Carl paused. "Have you met Frank?"

"No, but my dad's mentioned him a few times."

 _More like a million times._ Her dad wouldn't shut up about Frank and how "smart" he was and how he was a "respectable man."

 _He's the opposite of respectable._

Carl nodded. "Does your dad go to The Alibi Room a lot?"

Kacey felt a rush of anxiousness. She had never really talked about her dad's alcoholism with anyone. She knew Carl would understand. But still, she didn't want to talk about it.

 _At least until I know I can trust him._ _But how long will that take?_ Kacey had never completely trusted anyone. She was unable to rely on anyone but herself because of her experiences with her parents.

Kacey turned away and looked at the posters on the walls, slowly making her way around the room. She couldn't look Carl in the eye. Talking about her dad made her nervous and she didn't want him to see that.

"Um, yeah. He goes occasionally."

 _More like almost every night._

Carl didn't reply right away. She could feel him watching her.

Kacey felt weird. It made her feel vulnerable. And she hated feeling that way.

She turned around and locked eyes with him and narrowed her eyes. He copied her and she laughed. "What?" She asked sassily.

"Nothing. It's just..." He trailed off and ran his fingers through his hair as he glanced away. His expression changed when he looked back at her. _He looks...sad? No...he looks like he feels sorry for me. What?_

He took a small breath to speak but Kacey quickly changed the subject before he could say anything. "So are you gonna finish the tour or not?"

Carl hesitated to respond but then noticed that Kacey didn't want to talk about her dad, so he moved on. "Yeah, let's go." He led her back into the hallway and they made their way downstairs, entering the kitchen.

"And this is the kitchen." Carl turned to face her. "I know it's not a lot but—"

"I love it." Kacey interrupted, grinning.

Carl smiled back. "Bullshit. You live in a huge house, which is 1,000 times better than this."

Kacey shook her head and her smile slowly faded. "Trust me, it's not as good as you think."

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking curious.

She looked away and started walking slowly towards the living room. "Uhh..."

She heard Carl follow her, but before Kacey could finish answering, the door abruptly opened. Kacey jumped a heard the door close, and saw a swatch of red hair.

 _Ian._

He paused when he saw Kacey, then looked at Carl, then back at Kacey.

"Hey." He smiled at her and waved. "I'm Ian." _Damn. He's hot_.

"I'm Kacey." She smiled back. "I'm a friend of Carls."

Ian looked at Carl, paused, then laughed.

"What?" Carl directed to Ian.

Ian motioned to Kacey. "I'm just trying to figure out why she would want to be friends with you."

Kacey giggled. "Really? Why?"

Ian glanced at Carl then looked back at Kacey. "You're Greg Bruno's daughter, right? Frank talks about him a lot; he won't shut up about how 'rich' your dad is."

Kacey felt a little annoyed. Not with Ian; just talking about her dad ruined her mood. Plus, she was confused why Frank was talking about him so much.

 _Does everyone know who he is?_

She guessed they all knew who he was because he goes to The Alibi Room so much. He went there because he didn't want to see anyone from their neighborhood when he drank heavily. Meaning he didn't want to get a bad reputation.

 _It's always about his image._ Greg Bruno was a respected man. And if people knew he was an alcoholic, he would be screwed.

The silence lasted a few seconds before she shakily responded, "Yeah, I'm his daughter." Kacey saw Carl motioning Ian to leave out of the corner of her eye. Ian looked confused for a second then recovered and smiled, heading towards the stairs. "I'm gonna head out soon so don't burn the house down."

"No promises." Carl replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"And it was nice meeting you Kacey. Let me know if Carl steps out of line. I'll kick his ass." He bounded up the stairs as Kacey chuckled.

"I'd like to see you try!" Carl yelled after him.

Kacey looked down at the ground when Ian disappeared and then slowly turned to face Carl.

 _Did he notice my anxiousness? He must have. I hope he doesn't ask why I was being so weird._

Carl motioned towards the couch. "Wanna sit down?" He started backing towards the coffee table. She smiled, relieved that he didn't press her about her dad or anything else.

"Sure." They both flopped onto opposite ends of the squishy sofa. Kacey kicked off her shoes and looked around. She could feel Carl watching her again, which made her feel insecure. She bit her lip.

"Let's watch a movie." She suggested, though it sounded more like a command.

 _That way I won't have to discuss my life._

"No." He didn't say anything else and smirked at her.

 _That goddamn smirk is gonna kill me._

"No?" Kacey squinted at him, curious but somewhat amused.

"Let's talk." He slightly raised an eyebrow as if he was challenging her to fight back, then put his arm up on the cushion between them. His hand was dangerously close to Kacey's face.

Kacey narrowed her eyes which made him laugh.

"What?" He asked, trying to appear innocent.

She paused then started to grin, slowly shaking her head. "Nothing." She looked away for a few seconds and sighed, then faced Carl again. He tilted his head a little, waiting for her to answer.

 _It's just talking. Relax._

"Fine. You win." She held up her hands as if she was surrendering, then tucked her feet under her. "Let's talk."

* * *

"There is no way in _hell_ I'm reading that book!" Carl said determinedly. He was smiling.

"Oh come on! It's so good! We were supposed to read it for school anyway." Kacey rolled her eyes but couldn't keep herself from giggling.

They had been talking for over an hour. Not about anything deep — just about Carl's siblings and school and other stuff. The more they talked, the more comfortable Kacey felt with Carl. Which was scary for her.

"No fucking chance." Carl replied, crossing his arms and smiling.

Kacey groaned in frustration. "Fine. Then I can't hang out with you anymore." She mirrored Carl and crossed her arms, looking at him defiantly.

Carl laughed. "Yeah, sure." He uncrossed his arms and put his right arm back on the middle cushion, then leaned in a little closer. "And also, we're not just hanging out. This is deinfitely a date."

 _OHMYFUCKINGGOD._

Kacey's face fell. She had no idea how to respond to that.

 _So Phia was right? He likes me? No way. No fucking way._

Kacey refused to believe it. Carl was somewhat smirking at her.

 _THAT SMIRK. WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME?!_

Kacey took a breath "Um..." She hesitated, feeling her nervousness come back. She ran her fingers through her hair. "I just...I don't..."

Kacey kept stuttering. She took a breath to calm herself.

"You might think you like me now, but that will change." She looked down at her hands in her lap and started fidgeting, not wanting to meet his eyes, then continued. "I'm not like Dominique. I'm..." She struggled to find the right word. "I'm...difficult. Not easy to deal with. So I think we should just be friends."

Carl was quiet. Kacey peeked up at him. He was shaking his head.

"No. It won't change." He said so matter-of-factly. "And I'm not exactly easy to deal with either. So we're even." He smirked again and raised an eyebrow.

 _UGHHHH._

Carl continued. "We can be 'friends' if you want. But I like you, and I think you like me."

 _WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!_

Kacey stared at him with shock, then slowly turned her gaze away to the ground.

 _Of course I like you it's so fucking obvious!_

She wanted to say that but frustratingly sighed instead. "I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into." She mumbled, repositioning herself and wrapping her arms around her knees.

He scooted closer to her. "You're right, I don't."

She slowly met his gaze.

"But to be fair." He continued. "Neither do you." A smile started to tug at his lips.

 _STOP BEING PERFECT._

Kacey couldn't help but smile back. "Look. Let's be friends for right _now_. I'm just...completely new at this."

Carl narrowed his eyes. "New at what?"

 _Oh god. What's a good way to say 'I've never actually dated a guy. Or made out with a guy. Or basically talked to a guy other than Blake._

Kacey started smiling nervously. "Well...I've like, never been in a relationship, or anything remotely close to one. So..." She trailed off, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Bullshit." Carl said back.

Kacey laughed. "I swear! Don't act like it's a surprise."

Carl furrowed his eyebrows a little. "It is, though."

Kacey snorted. "Sure. But still, you're way more experienced than I am."

Carl grinned. "I mean, not really. Only Dominique." He looked down at his hands. "And that turned out pretty fucking badly." Carl glanced back at Kacey and smiled, but she noticed it was kind of forced.

 _Does he not want to talk about it?_

The silence continued for a few seconds.

"What happened?" Kacey asked gently.

He paused.

"Sorry sorry sorry you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, no, you're fine." Carl replied. "She kind of...cheated on me."

 _WHAT?! STUPID BITCH!_

"Seriously?! That's awful. I'm so sorry."

Carl shrugged. "I guess, but honestly, I wasn't that upset about it."

"Really? Why not?" Kacey inquired.

"Well...it was more of a... _physical_ relationship. He smirked.

Kacey laughed and lightly shoved him. "You're a perv."

"No, I'm a guy. What do you expect?"

Kacey shoved him again but giggled.

"But seriously." Carl went on. "After we broke up I realized me and her had never really talked."

"What do you mean?" Kacey questioned.

"Like, we never really talked about deep shit. It wasn't her thing. I don't know."

Kacey smiled at him teasingly.

"Shut up." Carl said, smiling back. Kacey laughed.

"I know I sound like such a pussy."

"No no, I get it. It's the same way with me. Literally _every_ guy is only interested in hooking up. And that's not me. At all."

Carl smiled at Kacey. "Well that's definitely Dominique."

Kacey giggled. Carl was silent for a few seconds as he looked at the ground, then back at Kacey. "I even got fucking circumcised for her."

Kacey's mouth hung open in shock. _Is that a joke._

"You're kidding."

"Completely and totally serious." Carl responded. "I can show you if you want." He raised his eyebrow seductively and grinned slyly. Kacey laughed and shoved him (again).

"Ok but actually?"

"Yes!"

Kacey looked away, completely stunned.

"I know. It was stupid."

Kacey put her hand over her mouth. She was trying not to burst out laughing. She looked back at Carl and bit her nail. Then she started giggling. Which made him do the same. Soon, they both started cackling like idiots.

"I can't fucking believe you." Kacey said, shaking her head as she laughed.

About thirty seconds later their laughter died down.

"I spent all of my fucking money on it." Carl said as his smile faded.

 _Aw._

It was funny in a sad way, and Kacey felt bad. Really bad. _He did all of that for her and she fucking cheated on him._

"But I guess it will be worth it in the future." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Kacey rolled her eyes. "You're so annoying."

"Maybe. But you still like me."

Kacey snorted. "Right. As a friend."

"Bullshit." Carl smirked.

 _STOP IT WITH THAT GODDAMN SMIRK!_


	10. Seductive Smirks: Carl

Carl was in deep. He knew that.

Though he didn't know Kacey super well, he was already sure he liked her. Which is basically what he told her.

When the words had slipped out of his mouth, she hadn't been able to contain her shock. I mean, he had surprised himself with his confession. Carl was actually pretty shy. Most people didn't assume that, but he was.

He had known that Kacey would react like that; he understood that she was cautious when it came to him, and any guy in general.

 _Because of her dad._

Carl had been able to sense her unwillingness to talk about her dad. She had seemed anxious whenever he was brought up. But Carl couldn't lie to himself: he wanted Kacey to talk about him. He wanted to know if she was okay. The thought of her dad being like Frank made Carl angry. And sad. He felt an urge to shield her from it all. She was so innocent. Not helpless, just…hurt. He could sense that she had been through a lot of bullshit.

Carl was confused why he was so protective over her already. Even the first time they had hung out and gotten Slurpees, he had told her he wouldn't let Wesley or Zack mess with her, and he had meant it. Kacey was incredibly tough, yes. But she was also the nicest person Carl had ever met. Rage flooded through his veins when he thought about those guys or her dad trying to harm her, whether that meant physically or emotionally.

His feelings for her were unprecedented; he hadn't felt anything like this for Dominique. This felt more intense. He hadn't even thought about sex or any of that stuff when it came to Kacey. I mean yeah, he was attracted to her. But he felt something deeper than what he had felt for Dominique.

 _What the hell is happening to me?_

The Monday after they hung out, Carl dragged himself out of bed when Fiona burst through the door, and then did his morning routine. Obviously, he wish he could have slept in (like he did every morning), but to be totally honest, he was a little happier than usual to be going to school. He was excited to see Kacey.

 _Shit._ Carl groaned in frustration and held his head in his hands while he was eating breakfast in the kitchen.

 _Get a fucking grip!_

* * *

She was already in her seat when he entered the classroom. As he was making his way towards his seat in the back, they locked eyes. He instantly smirked at her and she rolled her eyes, trying to hide the grin tugging at her lips as she looked down at her desk. He didn't care if anyone noticed.

 _Does Kacey?_

It wasn't like they were dating. They were just spending time together. But still, no one would care what the truth was. They would just make stuff up and gossip about it.

 _Stupid assholes._

Carl was woken out of his trance when he heard Kacey's voice. She was answering a question the teacher had just asked (Carl had failed to notice the teacher was even in the room).

For once, Carl actually paid attention.

"Holden's hat represents his individuality. He likes that it's different. It's his way of saying he won't conform to the standards that society has created."

"Exactly." Their teacher replied. Then, she moved on to the next question. Carl blocked her out again. He was still staring at Kacey. He knew she was smart, but he hadn't really realized _how_ smart until now.

Insecurity started to creep up on him.

 _Why would she hang out with someone like me?_

Carl had never asked her that, even though she had asked him the same thing about herself.

 _Should I ask her?_

Carl looked at the tile floor, deep in thought.

 _Why not?_

The bell rang and Carl grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. He saw Kacey glance at him then walk out of the door. He immediately ran to catch up with her, shoving people out of the way.

He gently grabbed her arm when he approached her, and she turned around.

Her blue eyes lit up and she smiled, which made him smile. "Hey." She said cheerfully.

"What are you doing after school?" He blurted out.

Carl didn't even plan on asking her to hang out, but once he said it he was glad he did. He wanted to spend time with her.

Kacey looked a little surprised at how direct he was. "I'm not doing anything."

"Wanna do something?" He asked, feeling a little nervous. His heart was beating kind of fast.

 _Fucking relax._

"How about a drive?" Kacey smiled.

Carl chuckled. "You really like driving."

Kacey giggled and looked at the ground. "Yeah, I do." She peeked back up at him. "Wanna meet me in the parking lot after last period?"

Carl grinned. "Yep. I'll see you then."

"See you later." She replied, beaming at him.

 _Can she just stop?_

* * *

"It's a good song!" Carl protested.

"Yeah, okay, sure." Kacey replied sarcastically.

"Fine. Then what do you listen to?"

"Not rap." Kacey said back to him.

Carl laughed. "There's nothing wrong with it!"

"I have nothing against it. It just gets old after you listen to it for a while."

Carl shook his head. "That hurts."

Kacey giggled.

His last class felt like an eternity. He had been fidgeting nervously waiting for the bell to ring, When they had met up in the parking lot some people in their grade had stared at them. When Carl opened the door to the passenger side of Kacey's Jeep, he could see the shocked and confused faces on some people. Even though their staring annoyed him, this made him want to ask her why she wanted to spend time with him even more. He felt like such a pussy for feeling so insecure, but he was genuinely curious about it.

Kacey was driving him home. During the short drive, he was building up the courage to bring it up. A few minutes later (which Carl had spent trying to convince Kacey to give rap another chance), Kacey pulled up in front of his house.

She parked the car and there were a few seconds of silence as Carl looked out the window. He could feel Kacey looking at him.

 _Ask her._

"So." She stated.

He slowly turned his head and met her eyes. "So." He smirked coyly at her.

Kacey snorted. "Get out."

"Nope."

"You suck."

"Yet you still drove me home."

Kacey laughed. "Shut up."

Carl grinned and looked out the window again. He drummed his fingers on his thigh and bit his lip. For some reason, he knew Kacey could tell that he wanted to say something. She waited patiently in the silence as he stared at his front door.

Carl swallowed, still looking at his house. "So, I wanted to ask you something." He turned his head back towards her.

"What is it?" She asked, curious (and a little nervous) as to what he would say.

He took a small breath. "Why do you want to hang out with me?"

Carl said it kind of quickly, but once Kacey registered what he had said she instantly looked confused.

After a moment of she broke the silence. "Why wouldn't I want to?"

 _Because you're innocent._

Carl parted his lips to reply but hesitated to collect his thoughts.

"I'm not really your type." He mumbled.

"My type?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Like, I'm not rich. Or smart. And I have a criminal record."

Kacey looked almost offended. "I don't care about any of that. And don't say that you're not smart, because you are."

Carl snorted. "No, really. I'm not."

Kacey shook her head. "I'm not talking about what grades you get, that doesn't count. You're just…" She struggled to find the right words and looked down at her hands, appearing as if she was deep in thought. Then she took a breath and exhaled, meeting his gaze again."You've dealt with more shit than any kid I know. Yet, you keep going on despite the bad stuff that's happened. And I respect that so much."

Carl was frozen. He had never received a compliment like that before. In fact, he had never really received _any_ compliment before.

 _This girl._

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Carl softly smiled at her and raised his eyebrows. "Did you just compliment me?"

Kacey rolled her eyes. "I hate you." She moved to playfully slap him but Carl grabbed her hand before she could and clutched it to his chest.

"So when are we having another date?" He asked as he smirked, clutching her hand with both of his as she tried to wiggle free.

She struggled for a couple of seconds then stopped trying to get away. She sighed in fake frustration. "If you don't let go, never. And it can't be a date if I say it's not."

"I won't let go until you answer." He gently moved his thumb over her small palm which caused her to freeze for a moment.

 _Her hands are so soft..._

 _OH MY GOD SNAP OUT OF IT YOU LITTLE FUCK._

Carl internally scolded himself, then got his shit together. "And fine. You don't have to call it a date. Just two people hanging out. Who like each other."

"Who said I liked you?"

"Yeah, nice try. It's kind of obvious."

Kacey tried to suppress a smile. "You're pretty cocky, you know that?"

"But you still respect me." He smirked at her and she ripped her hand free.

"Get out!" She pretended to be mad as she suppressed a smile.

"Fine." Carl purposely took his sweet time as he opened the door and threw his backpack over his shoulder. Kacey watched him with an annoyed (but slightly amused) expression. Before he closed the door he faced her. "So? Are you going to answer me?"

Kacey glared at him. "Friday. Now stop annoying me."

Carl smiled at her and closed the car door.

* * *

 _Thursday._

Debbie came in the living room and plunked down next to Carl on the green sofa, staring at him.

Carl could feel her gaze on him as he focused on the TV. She didn't look away.

He turned towards her a few seconds later. "What?" He asked sharply.

Debbie crossed her arms over her ̶p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶t̶ stomach. "Are you dating Kacey Bruno?"

Carl rolled his eyes and looked back at the TV. "Leave me alone."

Debbie frowned. "I saw you getting in her car."

"So?" Carl said, annoyed.

 _When will people mind their own fucking business?_

"Why would you hang out with her?! Her friends are total assholes!"

Carl scowled. "That's not true. She doesn't hang out with those people."

"Oh, so you know all about her personal life now?" Debbie asked, her voice raised slightly.

He started to get really aggravated. "Why do you care so much? She's never done anything to you."

Debbie scoffed. "Her stupid friends have been harassing me."

"That's not her fault. And again, she's not friends with them." He retorted waspishly. He focused back on the TV. Debbie was pushing it.

She sighed loudly and stood up. "Why are you so defensive over her?! You barely know her!"

Carl stayed silent. He was tired of dealing with gossip and people delving into his personal life. And he was _especially_ tired of everyone judging Kacey when they didn't even know her.

"UGH FINE. I'll leave you alone!" She aggressively turned around and started to move towards the stairs.

 _Finally._

But he heard Debbie's footsteps stop midway on the staircase. "It's not going to last, you know."

Carl turned around. 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You and Kacey. It won't last long."

Carl furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about?" He felt a ripple of irritation.

"It's only a matter of time before you realize that she's just another rich bitch who —"

Carl jolted off of the couch.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

Debbie looked shocked for a couple of seconds. However, she recovered quickly and rolled her eyes.

He glared at her until she bounded up the stairs, then listened for her door to shut.

Carl threw himself back on the sofa. He could feel his heart beating a little faster and took deep breaths to calm down.

 _Why am I so angry?_

He closed his eyes and leaned back to rest his head on the cushion, groaning in frustration.

 _This girl. She's going to kill me._


	11. Just Admit It: Kacey

**_SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING (panic attack)_**

 ** _Unfortunately I've had experience with the stuff in this chapter and I though since Kacey and I live under similar circumstances I should add that dimension to her character to make it more realistic. ANYWAY ON A HAPPIER NOTE I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER BCUZ PROTECTIVE CARL IS SEXY CARL OML. I feel like his character in general isn't generally violent/angry, but I think he can be if someone he loves/cares about is hurt/in danger/etc. ;))) SRY FOR THE RANT BUT THANK YOU FOR READING MY BEAUTIFUL QUEENS_**

* * *

 _I'm fucked._

Kacey was driving home from dropping Carl off at his house. She was blasting music and driving somewhat faster than she should to try to distract herself from the inevitable truth: she liked Carl.

She didn't want to admit it to him. Or herself.

It absolutely terrified her that she felt this way.

 _When was the last time I really, truly, liked someone?_

 _Oh, right. Never._

And the fact that Carl shamelessly admitted to liking her? Even more terrifying. She was even _more_ attracted to him for his confidence.

 _UGH._

Kacey rolled down the windows and let the wind rush over her and tangle her hair. She cranked the volume even more, turning onto the windy road by her house. She had to clear her mind.

 _This kid is fucking me up._

* * *

Later that night she had a three-way call with Phia and Blake, telling them practically everything.

 _Except that I like him._

Kacey couldn't tell them that. She didn't even know if anything would ever happen between her and Carl.

 _I'll most likely ruin it before anything can._

"Can you guys just have sex already?!" Phia squealed when Kacey was done talking.

"Shut up." Kacey replied. "Nothing is gonna happen, okay?"

"And why not?" Blake asked.

Kacey inhaled. "I…um…I don't know." She stuttered.

They were both quiet.

Kacey continued on. "I just don't know if I want to deal with it."

 _Yeah, cuz I have no idea what I'm doing._

Phia sighed. "Kacey. Listen to me. It's scary, I know. I mean, I don't _really_ know. I'm not a big 'relationship' person. I'm more of a hit-it-and-quit-it type of girl."

Kacey laughed as Blake snorted.

"Okay, let me talk to her. Phia, be quiet." Blake said. Kacey smiled at this and Phia scoffed.

Blake continued on. "I think this would be good for you. He clearly likes you. And you _obviously_ like him." Kacey could tell he was smiling.

"I hate you." Kacey mumbled.

They laughed. "Oh come on, we're your best friends. We know you, and you like him." Phia responded.

Kacey groaned, but refused to acknowledge their comments.

"Wait so when are you gonna see him again? Just at school?" Phia asked.

"Um, no. Well yes, at school, but also this Friday," she stated casually as she bit her lip, flinching in anticipation.

"YOU GUYS ARE SO GONNA HOOK UP OH MY GOD!" Phia screamed into the phone.

"Don't pay attention to her." Blake said over Phia's squealing. "She makes everything sexual."

"Not true! But guys, come on! Carl Gallagher is so fucking hot like if Kacey didn't have a thing with him I would totally —"

"SHUT UP PHIA" Blake yelled over her ranting.

Kacey was cackling.

"Okay, okay. I'm calm now. But Kacey, in all seriousness…"

Kacey furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"Do you need me to give you a condom?"

Kacey could hear Blake trying to hold in his laughter.

"I'm hanging up."

* * *

Her dad came home an hour later. She and her dad didn't really interact. And they hadn't really in the past, either.

 _I can't blame my mom for leaving him._

Kacey's mom left when she was young. Kacey didn't remember exactly what age, but she was too young to even remember her mom accurately, so she assumed she was pretty little when her mom had left them. Throughout middle school, Kacey had been severely depressed because of her home life. She kept thinking about it, day in and day out. It was practically an obsession. She was angry, hurt, sad, embarrassed, and confused. Her grades had dropped and she cut herself off from those around her, including Phia (she hadn't met Blake yet). This went on for weeks.

The loneliness Kacey had felt was incredibly intense and overwhelming. She had felt like she was drowning. Getting out of bed was extremely difficult for her, and as a result she missed a ridiculous amount of school.

Finally, Phia's mom stepped in. Phia's family life had always been great. Which made Kacey jealous at times. She knew Phia couldn't help it, but still. It was hard for Kacey to hear Phia complain when her parents were being "annoying" or "bitchy."

Phia's mom had set up a meeting with a psychiatrist. She had even paid for it, which had made Kacey feel awful. Kacey had been prescribed medication. It took a while to find the right combination, but once she did it was practically a life-saver. Of course, she still had weak moments. But her anxiety and depression had subsided a lot.

She didn't know if her dad was aware that she was on medication. It would be surprising if he didn't at this point, since their health insurance is covering the cost, other than the one time Phia's mom had paid. But he never said anything about it so Kacey didn't bring it up.

Therapy had also been an option as well, but Kacey didn't know if she would benefit from it. She knew no one could really help her. And she _was_ doing a lot better. Her life was settled down. She had become comfortable with being (practically) alone, and was used to being on her own. It was hard at first, to learn to take care of herself, and as a result, she had had to grow up a lot faster than most kids.

Overall, Kacey was unprepared for change. She was used to the life she had now.

 _Maybe that's the problem._

Carl was a threat; he could possibly mess up her routine. If anything ever happened, it would interrupt the steady rhythm of her life. And Kacey didn't want that. It scared her.

 _There are so many things that could go wrong._

Kacey closed her eyes and sighed softly, Blake's words running through her head.

" _It would be good for you."_

 _But would it?_

She covered her face with her hands in frustration.

 _No. I can't let this go any further._

Kacey's new plan was to just try to distance herself from Carl for the rest of the week. She'd still be nice, of course. But she didn't want to lead him on. She was planning to talk to him on Friday about all of it, and was pretty nervous just thinking about it.

 _But he already knows I just want to be friends._

When they had hung out at his house a little while ago, they had talked about it a little. But it was more light-hearted and he seemed to have not taken her seriously.

This time she would be sure to make him understand.

 _He's going to think I hate him._

* * *

Kacey had done a fairly decent job avoiding Carl. It was now Wednesday, and she hadn't really spent any time with him or seen him other than saying a quick "hi" during english or when they passed each other in the hall.

 _I'm such a coward._

Kacey hated that she was purposely staying away from him. It wasn't fair to Carl.

 _He would never do this to me._

Kacey felt that was true, even though she didn't know him super well.

 _I know him enough to know that he wouldn't ever avoid me._

She had filled Phia and Blake in about it, and they had instantly scolded her.

"Give him a chance!" Phia had said. "Nothing has even happened yet!"

Kacey's guilt had increased even more.

"I know that. But I have no idea what I'm doing."

Phia had sighed and glanced at Blake as Kacey looked at the ground. Blake put his arm around her.

"Look. Just follow your instinct, okay? Don't overthink it. If it feels right, then let it happen. You won't regret it. Even if it doesn't work out." He squeezed her shoulder.

Kacey smiled weakly back at him.

But this had made her even more confused.

 _How am I not supposed to overthink it? I have anxiety — aka I overthink fucking everything._

Her inner turmoil was at an ultimate high by Thursday. Her thoughts were running through her mind at record speed, and she kept fidgeting during class.

 _What is wrong with me?!_

However, something interrupted her racing mind. Zack and Wesley — the guys who she cursed out for talking shit about Carl and Nick — were whispering behind her, and she had heard her name. She whipped her head around and found them glaring at her. Kacey just rolled her eyes and turned around, but she couldn't ignore the stab of fear she had felt once she had locked eyes with each of them. She felt something coming. Her anxiety started to overwhelm her; her heartbeat quickened and her breathing became rapid. She had to get out of there. It was all too much.

Once the anxiety built up there was no way to stop it. It had always been this way — one thing triggered it and then it all came crashing down on her. This time, it was about Carl, Zack, Wesley, and of course, her dad. Every thing wrong in her life seemed magnetized in that moment, like it always did when she had panic attacks. She hadn't had one in ages.

 _Oh god why now?!_

She felt bile rise at the back of her throat as she shakily raised her hand.

It was hard for her to ask her teacher to go to the bathroom since her mouth was so dry, but she eventually croaked the question out.

She practically sprinted out of the room, struggling to hold her heavy backpack.

The hallway was starting to spin a little and her vision was getting blurry as she tried to steady her breathing.

 _I need to get outside._

Fresh air always helped. Being indoors made her feel trapped, causing her to panic even more.

She placed her sweaty palm on the cold lockers to guide her steps.

And then the bell rang.

Everyone would be pouring out of the classrooms and right into Kacey's pathway towards the front doors.

 _Calm down. Calm down. Breathe._

She put her back against the wall and slid down, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. The noise level rose each second. People stared as they passed by which only increased her anxiety.

 _You'll be fine once you're outside._

She ran her trembling fingers through her hair and tried to pull herself up, leaving her heavy backpack on the tile floor; a wave of nausea hit her. Staring at her feet, she counted her steps as she made her way to the school entrance, trying to distract herself from the crazed atmosphere.

 _One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Elev—_

Something solid had blocked her path.

 _Not something._ She looked up. _Someone. And not one. Two._

Her breath hitched at the back of her throat.

People were rushing past her but she didn't notice.

Zack and Wesley smiled menacingly at her. The hallway had become completely quiet. _Too quiet._

Kacey glanced over her shoulder. _Where the hell did everyone go?!_

Kacey hadn't even heard the bell ring. She was too focused on counting her footsteps. One student slammed his locker shut and ran down the hallway, his footsteps echoing off of the white walls. Now, she was completely alone with them.

Kacey could feel the acrid taste of vomit in her mouth. She closed her eyes and tried to regain her composure, completely blocking out the assholes in front of her.

"So," one of them said. Kacey had no idea which one.

Kacey opened her eyes and glared at them. "Move," she tried to say forcefully. It came out more like a squeak.

"Apologize and then we'll let you go."

The burning sensation at the back of her throat was getting worse each second.

"No." She tried to slide past them but they wouldn't budge, so she tried to push her way through. Wesley grabbed her arm as she attempted to shove him away, and Kacey's stomach dropped in fear. His grip was tight.

 _Why are they doing this to me?!_ Her heart was hammering against her chest.

"LET ME GO!" Kacey's voice cracked and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks as she tried to pry her arm away.

 _Don't cry. Not here._

She was about to lose it and start sobbing. And then she heard footsteps rapidly moving behind her.

A deep voice cut through the silence. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Kacey recognized the voice. Zack's gaze flickered and his smile dropped. She saw a flash of panic in Wesley's eyes, and then he abruptly dropped her arm.

Carl approached them looking absolutely livid. His jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into fists as he glared at Zack and Wesley. And then he looked at Kacey.

Kacey instantly felt relieved. She audibly exhaled and could already feel herself starting to relax.

Carl put his hands on her shoulders and crouched down to look in her eyes. His facial expression completely changed from cold and hard to soft and warm.

"Are you okay?" His tone was so gentle it made Kacey want to cry. She froze for a few seconds, lost in his brown eyes, then nodded. He gazed at her for a few more seconds, looking completely unconvinced.

 _He sees right through me._

Obviously he knew she wasn't okay. But Wesley and Zack were still there. Carl slowly averted his eyes from Kacey and looked at them, daggers shooting out of his eyes.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He growled at them, a vein showing on his neck as he clenched his jaw again.

They glanced at each other and looked back at Carl, fear written so clearly on their faces.

 _They're terrified of him._

"We just…we…um…" Zack stammered.

Wesley didn't even bother replying. Carl just shook his head. Then Wesley seemed to find his voice.

He tried to look like he wasn't intimidated.

"She embarrassed us. We just want her to apologize. It doesn't concern you." He said the last sentence a little more aggressively, gaining confidence. He continued on. "But if you promise to control your girlfriend from now on —"

The echo of Wesley's back being slammed against the lockers reverberated throughout the building it was that loud. Kacey had jumped a little at the loud noise. Carl had Wesley pinned up against the locker, his fists clutching onto Wesley's shirt.

"Are you that fucking stupid? You _do_ realize I could fucking kill you, right?" Carl didn't yell. His voice was barely audible, which made him sound even more menacing.

The terror on Wesley's face almost made Kacey burst out laughing. She felt better, yet still on edge and pretty shaky. She focused on slowing her heart rate down by taking deep breaths.

Zack just gaped at the scene that was unfolding before him.

Carl twisted his hands so that Wesley's was pressed against the locker even harder.

"Don't go near her again," Carl hissed, his teeth gritted together. "Or it'll end up giving me a reason to go back to juvie. Understand?"

He shoved him hard against the locker as he let go. Wesley's lips were slightly parted in shock. Zack grabbed his arm and they quickly walked away, glancing back over their shoulders at Kacey and Carl and then disappeared.

Kacey gazed at the floor trying to process what had just happened. Carl was breathing heavily, glaring in the direction they had gone.

 _I can't believe he just did that for me._

She bit her lip and shook her head imperceptibly in disbelief.

 _This boy._

Tears pricked the back of her eyes.

 _Stop. Don't._

"Come on." He said flatly as he held his hand out to her. She hesitated but then slowly reached out and grabbed it. His fingers quickly intertwined with her cold ones and he swiftly led her down the hall.

The heat from his hands made her stomach flip.

He grabbed her backpack and slung it over his shoulder, then led them in the opposite direction towards the front doors.

 _Is he mad at me?_

He seemed annoyed. His expression was kind of stony.

A warm gust of air greeted them once they stepped outside. Carl held the door for her as she walked behind him into the sunlight.

 _Finally._

Kacey took a deep breath.

 _Why had it been so difficult to just go outside?!_

He led her down the concrete steps, his fingers loosely but firmly clutching onto hers as they made their way down.

 _He seems really upset._

He was walking fast and looked like he was distracted. _Does he even know where we're going?_

"Carl." Kacey called out timidly, stopping in her tracks.

Carl's fingers brushed her palm as they lost contact with her. He turned around and met her gaze. He still looked upset.

"What's wrong?" Kacey asked gently.

Carl looked away and ran his fingers though his hair. He shook his head a little.

"Did I do something wrong?" Her voice was faint.

He looked back at her and his expression instantly lost its edge. "No, no. Of course not. It's just that…" He trailed off and focused on the ground, placing Kacey's backpack gently next to where they were standing.

He met her eyes again and he sighed. "I'm just so sorry. Really. This is my fault. You didn't need to stick up for me when you did and I feel so awful that you had to deal with that." His eyes crinkled with sincerity. His expression physically hurt Kacey. He genuinely believed it was his fault.

She swallowed the lump in her throat as the silence continued on. It wasn't uncomfortable. There was just so much Kacey wanted to say but didn't know how (or if) she could say it.

 _Why can't I just tell him everything?! The truth. Like how I can't be in a relationship and how he scares me and how I'm a fucking mess!_

"Carl…I'm…" She struggled to find the right words. "I…." She bit her lip and inhaled shakily, then paused, looking deeply into his eyes. The silence continued on as they gazed at each other. It was as if they didn't need words.

 _His eyes are so warm._

Kacey could feel herself blush. His hair was a little ruffled from shoving Wesley against the locker, and his cheeks were tinged red from anger, but slowly fading back to his normal skin tone.

She opened her mouth to say something, anything. He waited patiently.

Then, she had an idea. She blurted it out before she could change her mind.

"Want to go to my house?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise as a smile slowly crept on his face.

Kacey grinned back at him.


	12. Just Admit It: Carl

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE YOU ARE ALL ANGELS! I love you guys for reading this and appreciate it so much!**

 **I really like this chapter because it's very realistic (at least to me) and I think it shows how emotionally mature Carl is. Once again, THANK YOU X 1000 FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND SUPPORT ILY ILY ILY QUEENS :)**

* * *

Kacey's hands were shaking slightly as she moved the rearview mirror. Carl observed her for a few seconds. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye but he looked away quickly. He could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

But he couldn't just ignore it. He knew she was shaken up by what had just happened. He was too, if he was completely honest with himself.

Something had taken ahold of him earlier when he had shoved Wesley against the locker. Carl wasn't really a violent guy. Even in juvie he had never been super aggressive. But Wesley had pushed one of his buttons and had gotten under his skin. And it had caused Carl to practically lose his shit. It had taken him a while to cool down but he felt somewhat calmer now. Calm enough to understand that Kacey was the one that needed comforting.

"Hey," he stated softly as he turned towards her.

She inhaled quietly and faced him, forcing a small smile to appear.

"Why don't you let me drive?" He asked.

She bit her lip. "Why?" Her voice cracked a little.

Carl timidly placed a hand on her shoulder. He did it slowly since she was so jumpy, yet still tensed up at his tender touch.

"Just let me drive, okay?"

Kacey's eyes roamed over his face as she contemplated what to do. Carl raised his eyebrows.

"Do you even have your license?" Kacey finally asked after a few seconds, the corner of her mouth twitching as she tried not to grin.

Carl paused. "Not technically. No."

Kacey snorted and Carl started to laugh, happy that she was smiling.

"Come on, your house isn't that far right? It'll be fine." He took his hand away and waited for her response.

She bit her tongue and diverted her attention to a random group of kids who were milling around the parking lot.

"Okay." It came out of her mouth like a whisper. She glanced back at him and pressed the keys into his hands, then opened her door to switch seats with him. After she made her way to the passenger side, Carl held the door open for her and she gave him another forced grin. Once she sat down, Carl shut her door softly so as to not startle her, then jumped into the driver's seat.

He turned the key slowly and heard the engine start. He looked over at Kacey but she didn't seem to notice his gaze. She was hugging her knees to her chest and looking out the window with an empty stare. Carl pressed down on the brake and gripped the toggle, putting it in reverse. After glancing in the mirrors, he eased his foot off of the brake and the car gradually moved backwards.

* * *

Kacey's hands were gripping onto the door as he halted the car in front of her house. Carl put it in park and focused his attention to her.

"So…I'm not…the best driver…I know." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Kacey met his eyes and bursted out laughing. "Ya think?"

Carl grinned. He had run through a few stop signs and almost hit a pedestrian, but to be completely honest, he was glad he drove. It had taken Kacey's mind off of everything (although it was a tad stressful for her to help him navigate his way back to her house). She didn't look so pale and she was a little more talkative than earlier.

Carl then focused on her house. _Yep. Definitely not South Side._

It was huge. More than enough for her and her dad.

 _But still. It's not like she has it easy._

Carl looked over at her. She opened the car door and placed her feet on the grass slowly as Carl jumped out and walked towards the back of the car.

"Let me get your bag for you," he said as he popped open the trunk.

Kacey seemed so fragile in the moment and Carl was worried.

 _It's like she could break at any second._

It was times like these that Kacey reminded Carl of Fiona. They were both incredibly tough and seemed almost unshakable. However, both Fiona and Kacey have vulnerabilities and hate showing those to other people. Carl could tell that Kacey was one bad day away from a total breakdown.

Fiona was the same way. She let everything pile up, and then eventually, it all came crumbling down.

Carl slammed the trunk shut and slung Kacey's bag over his shoulder. She smiled gratefully at him and started to trudge across her lawn, motioning for Carl to follow her.

 _Wait. What are we doing here?_

Carl hadn't even thought about why they were there. He had been too distracted trying to figure out how to make Kacey feel better.

He timidly followed Kacey inside. His jaw almost dropped. He had never been in a house this nice before. Ever.

 _Wow._

A small smile appeared on Kacey's face as she watched him marvel at his surroundings.

"You really live here?" He asked, feeling stupid for even asking.

 _Smooth._

Kacey giggled. "Yeah. I'm lucky, I know." She said the last part kind of quietly and her smile started to fade. Her eyes moved to the ground and she bit her lip, as if she was thinking deeply.

And at that moment, Carl had a revelation.

People assume Kacey lives a perfect life, and treat her problems as if they don't matter just because she has money. So if she _did_ ever tell anyone about her dad, they would probably just think that she's lying since everything looks so perfect on the surface.

 _Maybe that's why she's so hesitant to talk about it. Maybe she's tried telling people and they just won't listen._

Carl admitted to himself that if he had never gotten to know Kacey and her crowd, he probably would have assumed that she lived a carefree life with absolutely no worries.

Obviously, he would have been wrong.

"You can just put my bag by the door," Kacey said as she gestured her hand towards him.

Carl carefully placed her bag against the wall by the entrance. He could feel Kacey watching him. When he looked up to meet her eyes, though, she quickly glanced away.

 _She seems nervous._

"So," Carl said as he straightened up. "What are we doing here?"

Kacey's eyed widened a little at his directness, but she recovered quickly.

"I…uh…" Kacey looked around as if she was searching for an answer.

Her hands were fidgety and she refused to meet his gaze.

"Let's…let's sit down." Kacey stated as she walked backwards and motioned towards the living room. Carl spotted a big, plush white couch in front of a plasma-screen TV.

 _Damn._

Kacey plopped down and patted the spot next to her, but Carl sat a little farther down. He knew that she was feeling anxious and didn't want to overwhelm her at the moment.

Carl remained quiet and admired his surroundings as Kacey tapped her fingers on the arm of the couch. He could tell she wanted to say something. So he waited.

He looked over at her when he heard her take a deep breath in. She smiled anxiously at him and opened her mouth and looked at the floor.

"I…just…thank you," she blurted out, gaining a little more courage. "Thank you." She met his eyes this time when she said it.

 _Aw._

"You don't have to thank me. I told you I would fuck them up if they tried anything with you." He smirked at her.

She snorted and shook her head. "But still. I was…I was having a bad day already and you like…made it…a lot better." She blushed at this and looked down at her hands.

"I'm glad I could help." He shifted his body so he was closer to her.

Something had happened before Wesley and Zack had gone after her. Carl could tell.

"How do you feel right now?" He asked her gently.

She bit her lip, a habit of hers, he noticed, when she was anxious. "Fine." She looked up at him and smiled widely then averted her gaze out the window.

 _Lie._

It was quiet for a few seconds. Then Carl decided to be a little bolder than usual.

"It's okay if you're not," he said, almost in a whisper.

Her gaze slowly met his and she opened her mouth to reply, but was clearly surprised by his response.

At that moment her phone beeped. Her eyes flicked to the coffee table where she had set it. Carl watched Kacey's face and noticed it fall a a little.

"Ugh." Kacey closed her eyes and covered her eyes with her palm.

"Is everything okay?" Carl asked, touching her arm lightly.

Kacey looked up at him and fake smiled. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just have to…um…I'll be right back." Kacey abruptly moved from under his hand and stood up from the couch.

 _What's going on?_

He watched her take a few steps and then stood up. "Kacey," he called after her.

She paused, then turned around slowly. "Yeah?" They locked eyes. She looked scared.

 _Why?_

"What's going on?" He questioned.

She took a breath in and held it.

"You can tell me," he stated firmly.

Kacey exhaled and rubbed her forehead, stress clearly visible on her face.

"I have to…um." She looked down at the wooden floor.

Carl waited patiently for her response.

"I have to…" she focused her attention back to Carl. "I have to take my medication right now. That's it." She quickly turned around and started walking frantically towards the staircase.

It kind of felt like someone had punched Carl in the stomach.

"Medication? For what?"

 _That's fucking personal you fucking moron!_

She turned back around again. "We shouldn't get into it."

Carl mentally slapped himself.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that. I know it's private, but Kacey. Don't be scared to talk to me about it. Ian takes medication, too." He took a step towards her.

She studied his face like she was trying to see if he was being genuine. "Okay," she finally said. "I'm just not used to talking about it, I guess."

Carl smiled. "I can tell," he said, trying to lighten the mood so she'd feel better.

Kacey giggled and playfully slapped him. "Shut up!"

"But seriously. Wanna talk about it?" He asked.

Kacey bit her lip (again). "Umm…maybe. Sure. But not right now. It's been kind of a rough day."

Carl nodded. "It's all good. Whenever you want."

A shy smile appeared on Kacey's face.

"But Kacey."

She raised her eyebrows.

"What was on your phone? You seemed upset after you looked at it."

Kacey laughed nervously. "Oh. I have a reminder on my phone that tells me when to take my meds. I just didn't now how to tell you. Some people are weird about this stuff."

Apprehension was etched on her face.

 _Things must be really bad if she needs meds for it._

Carl thought of Ian again.

 _Maybe it's not the same kind of situation but it still isn't good._

She was waiting for him to react.

He took a deep breath in and locked eyes with Kacey. "I'm…" He began.

 _What do I even say?!_

He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, and that he knew about her dad, and that he was really worried about her, and that he cared about her. _Really_ cared about her. But he didn't. For some reason, he felt a strong urge to hug her. So he did.

Carl stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Kacey's waist. She was tense. Very tense. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear, his cheek brushing a few strands of her hair as their bodies pressed together. Kacey remained frozen. Carl rubbed his large hands gently over the small of her back. Kacey's head barely reached his shoulder. Her soft hair smelled amazing. But after a couple of more seconds he grudgingly pulled away. He didn't want her to make her uncomfortable, which it was clear that she was. Her body was still rigid and she hadn't hugged him back.

He timidly took her hands in his. Kacey had a shocked expression clearly visible on her face.

"I'm sorry if that was too much," he said quietly. He looked right into her eyes. Seconds passed as they continued to gaze at each other.

He stared into her blue eyes with his brown ones and tried to convey something that he couldn't seem to articulate. He took a step towards her.

"Look, I'll be right back. I'm okay." She took a step away from him, her voice trembling a little.

He inched forward even more.

Kacey shook her head. "Don't." Her voice cracked.

Carl kept moving towards her. He held out his hand.

"Carl…" Tears were in her eyes.

He kept his hand out, his fingers stretching in her direction, waiting for her to give in.

Seconds passed. She was frozen in place.

He leaned towards her and motioned towards his chest, wordlessly asking her to come to him.

Kacey inhaled shakily and hesitated for a moment.

Then, she finally gave in. She powered forward and crashed into him, allowing herself to be completely engulfed in his arms.


	13. Author's Note

Hello beautiful people!

I wanted to ask for your opinion on something. Would you guys be okay with smut in this story? Or would you rather it be implied smut? (Obviously it would be later on, maybe in a few chapters). And it wouldn't be like hardcore stuff or anything like that. What do you think? Please comment and let me know!

Thank you!

And I'll write the next chapter as fast as I can :)


	14. Drug-Pushing Delinquent: Kacey

HELLO QUEENS THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE! Recently I went to the Shameless houses in South Side! I took pics on the steps of the Gallagher house and Kev and V's house and it was super cool 11/10 would recommend ;) Anyway. I have outlined the next few chapters already so they will be published a _lot_ quicker than the other ones! Thank you for reading! ily ily ily :)

* * *

Carl's arms encompassed Kacey. Her cries came out in muffled chokes; she sounded like she was in a great deal of physical pain. Carl's hold around her tightened. They had been standing like that for a while, maybe a few minutes.

 _Stop it._

She sniffled with force.

 _Right now._

Her head was near crook of Carl's neck, somewhat buried in his chest. His fingers brushed the small of her back in a slow, soothing way.

She started to pull back. Her display of vulnerability was frightening her.

 _Relax._

Releasing herself from Carl's hold, Kacey wiped her tears and tried to collect herself as Carl remained quiet.

Minutes passed.

"Let me take you home," she managed to croak out at Carl after regaining stability in her voice.

He directed a gentle smile at her and nodded. Kacey appreciated that. She knew that he understood her. She knew that he was aware of Kacey's nervousness in exposing her true self to people. And it made Kacey like him even more.

 _Get a fucking grip._

Kacey opened the front door and Carl stepped in front of her and leaned against the doorway, his eyes filled with concern.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked quietly.

 _Why is he perfect?!_

Kacey cleared her throat and smiled genuinely at his caring demeanor.

"Yeah. I will."

He smiled back at her, leaning against the doorframe as he spoke.

"So...when can I see you again?" He smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes, failing to ignore the familiar tug at the corner of her lips.

"Soon," she replied.

"That's a pretty vague answer."

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"I'm very persistent."

"I've noticed."

Carl laughed out loud at her response.

 _He's so cute._

"Now come on," Kacey playfully ordered, gaining more strength in her voice. "I don't want to hit traffic."

"Okay but for real, are you okay?" Carl asked before he opened the car door to get out.

 _asdfghjkl stoppp._

"Yes. I am." She grinned at him. "Thank you."

"Of course," Carl responded.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, then Carl got a mischievous look on his face. He slowly took her hand in his, placing his lips on the back of her palm. "Until next time," he murmured seductively, kissing her hand. He raised one eyebrow and she rolled her eyes, ripping her hand away in fake disgust. Meanwhile, butterflies danced around in her stomach, making her feel warm.

 _His lips are so soft…_

"Now there won't be a next time."

Carl snorted. "Hell yes there will."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"You have to see me at school."

"I'll just ignore you."

"I'm pretty hard to ignore."

"Touché."

Carl grinned and stepped out of the car, leaning against the doorframe.

 _HE'S SO HOT._

"See you tomorrow?"

"If you're lucky," Kacey responded sassily.

"I've been feeling pretty lucky lately," Carl replied.

* * *

That night Kacey struggled to focus. Her thoughts kept turning back to Carl.

 _Stop thinking about him!_

She still battled with herself over the feelings she possessed towards him, even though it was pretty obvious to not only herself, but to her friends, that she liked him.

Her dad was home a little earlier than usual, putting Kacey in a bad mood. She liked being alone and having the house to herself.

"So," her dad started to say as she was heading up to her room (to solely get away from him).

He was tipsy. Per usual.

"Yes?" Kacey asked with a little edge in her voice.

Her dad narrowed his eyes at her. "Watch your tone."

Kacey's stomach flipped. She never really fought with her dad. It just wasn't worth it in her eyes. But when they did fight, Kacey always felt awful after. Her dad could be incredibly mean.

He took a deep breath and continued on.

"I hear you are now friends with Carl Gallagher."

 _How does he know that?_

"So?" Kacey retorted, avoiding eye contact.

She could feel him getting annoyed.

"Well, he doesn't sound like the best kid. He's been in juvie already."

Kacey felt a stab of defensiveness. "He's changed. He's not who he used to be."

And Kacey meant that. Carl was completely different. In fact, he was a perfect gentleman. Nothing like his father or most guys at their school. His reputation couldn't be further from the truth: Carl was not at all like the scary, drug-pushing delinquent people assumed he was.

"I doubt that's true," her father replied scathingly.

Anger rose in Kacey's stomach.

"What do you even have against him?! He's the son of your best fucking friend!"

 _Oh god. Too far._

He gritted his teeth and a vein in his neck popped out, the blue contrasting with the red of his neck.

"Go to your room. Now," he stated waspishly.

 _Gladly._

Kacey felt empty inside. She felt like crying but couldn't muster up any tears. She lay down on her bed and sighed heavily, thinking of the events of the day, embracing the warmth her bed provided. Her thoughts drifted to Carl. He had shown a sensitivity and maturity that she would have never expected from him.

 _People really underestimate him. Including me._

She replayed the hug over and over in her mind. It had felt so good to be held by someone. She couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged her like that — or even hugged her in general.

As Kacey lay there, alone and upset, she wished that the same pair of arms that were around her earlier were around her now, encasing her in a circle of warmth, and helping her drift off to a long, peaceful sleep.

* * *

The next day Kacey groggily rose from bed, her eyes still shut as she desperately attempted to wake herself up for school. She had woken up unacceptably early after falling asleep on her bed while thinking about Carl, then fell back asleep a long while later.

 _Carl._

Butterflies erupted at the thought of him.

 _Wait what the hell? When did I get this soft?!_

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and gradually got herself together, putting on clothes, grabbing her backpack, and throwing together a makeshift breakfast, trying to avoid the eagerness she felt for seeing a certain someone.

* * *

Shutting her locker door shut, Kacey turned only to find herself face to face with Phia and Blake.

"WHERE have you BEEN?" Phia exclaimed, clearly not at all worried about how loud she was being.

"What do you mean?" Kacey asked, feigning innocence. She knew damn well she had been absent, and she felt really bad about it too.

"You're practically AWOL. And you just disappeared yesterday," Blake interjected.

Kacey bit her lip, debating how much to tell them.

"Well? Are you gonna fill us in or what?" Phia said as she crossed her arms.

Kacey decided that they deserve the whole of it.

"Okay, so here's what's been going on…"

She told them pretty much everything. However, she did leave out the hug, just to make it a little less dramatic. And truth be told she wanted to keep that part to herself. It was personal and something that her and Carl had shared just between them two. Plus, vulnerability wasn't exactly Kacey's strong point. And she would bet money that it wasn't Carl's, either.

After she had finished they both beamed at her.

"What?" Kacey asked, a quizzical look on her face.

Blake wiggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up," Kacey retorted as she rolled her eyes.

They both laughed and Phia jumped up and down.

"You love him oh my GOD!"

"Stop I do NOT love him! We barely know each other!"

 _Lie._

Compared to others, Kacey knew him pretty damn well. And, to tell the truth, he knew her almost as well as Phia and Blake did. Probably even more, considering the fact that he had actually witnessed a breakdown of hers, which no one had _ever_ seen before. Plus, he knew about her dad. They hadn't talked about it but she could sense that he knew.

"Yes you do!" Phia exclaimed. "You've never even paid attention to any guy before and now—"

Phia froze in her spot as her eyes lit up. Grabbing Kacey's arm, she whisper-shouted: "Look, it's him!"

Blake and Kacey followed Phia's line of sight and saw Carl at the end of the hallway piling books into his locker.

"So?" Kacey spat, pretending to be completely unfazed. She couldn't ignore the flip-flop feeling in her stomach or the sudden thumping of her heart, but acted like he was just another guy.

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt with a red and white checkered flannel, paired with black shorts. His hair was messy and he looked tired, a cute pout on his face as he tried to figure out which books he needed. He scrunched his nose in confusion.

 _Lord help me._

Kacey quickly glanced away and acted like she wasn't just devouring him with her eyes; her friends saw right through her charade.

"Casual eye sex. Okay, Kacey. I see you," Blake uttered with a knowing glance.

Kacey whirled around and slapped his arm as Phia burst out laughing.

Right as Kacey was going to say something back, the bell rang and a throng of people started making their way to first period.

"I'll see you guys later," Kacey mumbled to them, feigning annoyance.

"Say hi to you boy for me!" Blake shouted back at her.

 _They never quit,_ Kacey thought, hearing the forceful pitch of Phia's laugh as the hallway emptied.

Kacey noticed Carl still at the end of the hallway and decided to say hi. He was on his phone and seemed not to notice the nearly-empty space, or that Kacey was a few feet in front of him. Kacey smiled at the sight of him: she couldn't help it. Carl brought her a calm she had never known. Being around him just made her happy, which was hard for her to admit.

She was now standing in front of him. He was still looking down at his phone.

"Carl," she called out softy.

He glanced up and his expression softened when he noticed her, then seemed to somewhat harden.

 _What?_

"Oh. Hey, Kacey." He smiled weakly.

Kacey's stomach dropped a little and her grin faltered.

 _Maybe he's just having a bad morning._

"What's up?" She asked, her voice a little shaky.

Carl ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged, avoiding eye contact. The silence that followed pervaded every inch of the hallway. It seemed to continue on forever.

Kacey could tell something was off. _Really_ off.

Nausea immediately filled her senses and anxiety clouded her thoughts. "What's wrong?" She inquired gently.

 _What did I do?_

She started to think of everything she had said to him and done in the last 24 hours, desperately trying to reassure herself that it was all okay between them, that he was just in a bad mood.

"Nothing," he stated monotonously, still not looking at her.

 _Maybe something happened at home?_

"Did something happen with your dad?"

He bit his lip and leaned against the locker next to him, fidgeting with his backpack.

"Kacey I…"

His words left him and his eyes fluttered as he tried to meet hers.

 _Why does he seem afraid of me?_

Carl's blue eyes met her gaze and Kacey thought she saw a sadness in them.

Carl took a deep breath as Kacey waited patiently for him to say something.

"I can't…" He muttered.

"You can't what?" Kacey interjected, genuinely afraid of what he would say.

"I can't hang out with you anymore. I'm sorry."

And with that, Carl pressed up off the locker and went out through the front doors, completely ditching first period.

The doors closed with force and Kacey stood in his wake for a few seconds, feeling utterly confused.

And then, the heartbreak hit.


	15. Drug-Pushing Delinquent Carl

**This is my favorite chapter because I liked discussing Carl's issues and insecurities about his family life and past. I think he's a lot more complex than the show portrays him, so I kind of built on the character they have. ANYWAY I hope you enjoy!**

Carl entered his house after Kacey dropped him off feeling upset. It had practically broken his heart seeing her break down like that. And yet, she hadn't even mentioned her dad.

It was almost like there was an unspoken agreement to not bring him up, though Carl was 99% sure that Kacey knew that Carl was aware of what was going on.

He wouldn't push her to talk about it. He could sense that she didn't want him to ask; that she wanted to be the one to bring it up. And that was fine.

But it was hard for Carl to see her struggle. He had never cared this intensely towards anyone, and to be frank, it scared the shit out of him.

 _When did I become so fucking soft?!_

* * *

Carl spent the evening on the couch with Ian and Liam, hanging out and watching T.V. while Fiona ran around the house doing chores (and yelling at them to "get off their asses and clean for once").

At around 9, Ian headed out and Fiona carried Liam upstairs to put him to bed. Debbie had come in earlier in a fit of tears and stomped up to her room them slammed the door. This usually happened every day, so everyone pretty much ignored it. Carl was left by himself on the couch dozing off to sleep, but was suddenly woken up by the door creaking open. He rubbed his eyes wearily and glanced towards the entrance.

Frank was trying (and failing) to sneak in.

Carl groaned. "I fucking see you Frank."

His father paused, then said "fuck it" and plopped down on the armchair across from Carl.

"Fiona is gonna kill you," Carl stated simply.

"Well she doesn't know I'm here so don't tell her. Ignorance is bliss. For everyone."

Carl rolled his eyes as Frank put his feet up on the coffee table and sighed. "Can you grab me a beer, son?"

Carl snorted. "We're out."

Frank scoffed and rubbed his eyes in exasperation.

"Of course you are. Now I have to go all the way to the store and spend MY money on something you all should have replenished in the first place! All I want is one beer each day, and that's too much to ask? I mean—"

Frank went off on a rant but Carl tuned him out and thought of Kacey's dad again. He might as well ask Frank while he was here. It was the only useful thing Frank could do for him — give Carl information that he wanted and somewhat needed.

"Frank," Carl interjected.

Frank was not shutting up.

"FRANK!" Carl yelled, now worried that Fiona would hear and make Frank leave. Carl at least wanted to get to ask about Mr. Bruno before Frank was chased out.

"Don't yell!" Frank whisper-shouted. "Fiona will hear you!"

 _No shit._

"Does Mr. Bruno go to The Alibi Room every night?" Carl was nervous to hear what Frank would say. He still hoped that maybe Mr. Bruno wasn't awful, that maybe Frank was lying about his drinking habits.

Frank narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Why?"

"I'm just asking," Carl responded sharply.

Frank glared at Carl for a few more seconds, then nodded. "Yes. But he has every right to do that. He is a hard-working man that—"

And for the second time that night Carl tuned Frank out. His heart sank. He didn't know why he was so upset.

 _Because I care about her. And I'm worried._

Carl tuned back in to Frank's rantings when he heard Kacey's name.

"What did you say?" Carl hurriedly asked before Frank could continue on his tirade.

"I was talking about you. And his daughter. I told Greg to keep his daughter away from you, that you're trouble."

Carl clenched his jaw.

 _He's got to be fucking kidding._

"You've been in juvie. And this girl is heading places. Even though her father isn't her biggest fan, he said that she has straight A's. And you're gonna end up like me, so what's the point?"

Carl's vision blurred from anger and he stood up without thinking, pointing to the door.

"Leave, Frank!" He tried to say as calmly as he could.

Frank stood up. "It's the truth! You're only mad because you don't want to hear it!"

Carl froze, standing by the front door and absorbing Frank's words. The rational voice in his brain was fighting off Frank's comments, saying they weren't true. But the other voice was telling him "yes, it is true."

Fiona yelled down the stairs, making Frank jump and briskly open the door and run out into the night (probably to go get more beer).

"Carl, is everything okay?" She shouted. "I thought I heard Frank!"

Carl didn't hear her, though. He was too busy trying to figure out which voice in his head was right.

* * *

It took Carl a few hours of tossing and turning in his bed to make up his mind: he had to stop whatever was happening between him and Kacey.

After mulling it over for a long time he came to the conclusion that he honestly didn't offer Kacey anything other than trouble.

It was Carl's fault that Zack and Wesley were after her; it was Carl's fault that she had had the panic attack. He was a criminal. With a fucked up family. And Frank was right: Carl would end up like him while Kacey would get out and actually do something with her life if Carl didn't screw it up first. So their relationship would have to come to an end.

 _It's the right thing to do. I'm just making her life more problematic._

Carl rolled over and tiredly rubbed his eyes. A depression began to set in; a sadness paired with the realization that he would never be good enough for Kacey, and that he would go nowhere in life.

 _I'm just a fucking drug-pushing delinquent. And that's all I'm ever going to be._

He rolled over again and closed his eyes, ignoring the snores of his brother as he drifted off into a fitful sleep, surrounded by nothing but darkness.

* * *

The next morning Carl woke up feeling extremely groggy. He had gotten practically no sleep as a result of his resolution to end things with Kacey.

 _Starting today._

Carl groaned. He was dreading everything — from going to school to seeing Kacey to just living his every day life. Something had switched in Carl after talking to Frank. It was like he saw absolutely no point in trying anymore if he really was going to inevitably end up like Frank. Ian was already like Monica; not that Carl meant that in an offensive way towards Ian, but it was true. Ian's life became 1000x harder after coming to the realization that Monica was a deep part of who he was. And Carl figured he better realize sooner rather than later that he would eventually resort to Frank's behaviors.

 _Fuck it. I'm over it. All of it._

* * *

"I can't hang out with you anymore. I'm sorry." Carl shoved his way through the doors feeling as though he would explode with anger. He clenched his fists and briskly walked towards the direction of the L, not knowing where he was going.

He had seen Kacey, Phia, and Blake talking at the end of the hall but ignored them, feeling a pit in his stomach as he did so.

 _I have to do this_ , he had thought. _She deserves a future. A good one._

Carl had planned on talking to her then just going straight home, so he purposely waited until the hallway was empty. He had known that she was going to talk to him; he had seen her hesitantly approach him out of the corner of his eye.

Rage had filled his veins; of course not at Kacey, but at the situation.

 _Why can't I just be fucking normal. Why can't I just fucking man up and tell her the truth instead of cutting off contact._

His mind had been racing with these kinds of jabs as Kacey made her way towards him.

 _It's because you're a coward. Like Frank._

Carl had pretended to be on his phone, yet his thoughts had been completely elsewhere. His vision had been clouded with anger and frustration and a wave of nausea had overcome his senses.

The soft sound of her voice saying Carl's name had hurt like a knife in his chest. She had sounded genuinely eager to talk to him.

 _And I fucked it all up. A classic Gallagher move._

Carl was now nearing the L and had to decide where he wanted to go. He already knew what he would do; or better yet, what others expected him to do.

He counted how much cash he had in his pocket and headed back to South Side, ready to start drinking at 9 a.m.

* * *

"CARL. UP. NOW." Fiona's voice reverberated through the house as she yanked off his comforter and threw it on the ground. Beer cans littered the surrounding area and the faint smell of alcohol wafted off of his sheets from the few times he had accidentally spilled some.

Carl groaned and rolled over, completely ignoring her.

"IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS. YOU ARE GOING. FOR THE WHOLE DAY." Fiona abruptly turned and stormed out, but Carl knew she would be back if he didn't physically get out of bed.

It had been a long two weeks. He had told Fiona he was taking time off from school. She had fought back with him, then stopped after realizing that he was gonna do what he wanted. But after a little, Fiona had figured out that Carl had been drinking a lot so naturally Fiona resolved to put a complete stop to his ways.

Carl had gone to a few classes, avoiding all eye contact with Kacey, and usually ended up leaving before noon. Debbie had told Fiona this and she had lost it on him. So, for this week, Fiona was on Carl's ass every morning making sure that he was actually going to school and staying for the whole day.

"You're not dropping out," she had told him. "No fuckin way."

As for the drinking, Carl had practically inhaled alcohol for about a week, then slowed down after Fiona practically yelled his ear off. He sincerely had thought that she was gonna kick his ass. Though she was disappointed in him, she knew that he was stubborn and would march to the beat of his own drum. Ian knew that, too, and Lip was dealing with his own drinking issue, so Carl had continued drinking. It's not like he was happy about it. He felt like shit. That's why he drank. It was a vicious cycle he couldn't seem to break. His family understood that better than others ever could.

 _Kacey would hate me if she knew what I was doing._

He shook his head then quickly pushed her out of his mind. Carl wanted to be numb to it all. So before he went to school that day, he cracked open a beer and chugged it, hoping it would dull at least some of the pain.

"Aren't you tired of doing this?" Debbie asked him as she watched him drink.

Carl wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he responded. "What else am I supposed to do?"

Debbie rolled her eyes. "You're so dramatic. You don't have to be a fuck up."

"Says the girl who's pregnant."

Debbie froze then slung her backpack over her shoulder and stormed out, slamming the door in his wake.

 _That was a fucking low-blow._

"CARL. GO. NOW. AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE DEBS CHECKS THAT YOU STAY THE WHOLE DAY."

"OKAY!" Carl yelled back to Fiona exasperatedly, chucking his bottle in the trash before he shut the door and made his way back to the place he dreaded going to the most.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by in a blur; Carl had a drink every morning before going to school and a drink at lunch just to get through it.

Of course he had made eye contact with Kacey a few times. And in the beginning she had tried to talk to him in person (and by calls and texts) but he had just brushed her off.

Now she ignored him back. And Phia and Blake ignored him too, keeping their faces expressionless whenever they saw him. It made Carl feel like complete shit. Thus he would crave alcohol to help ease the pain, which evidently made him feel even shittier.

 _I really am fucking Frank now._

* * *

On Saturday, about 4 weeks after he stopped talking to Kacey, Carl was sitting at home with Liam, Debbie, and Fiona at around 11 p.m. when he got a text from her. He hadn't been drinking, but only because Fiona was home and was keeping a close eye on him.

Carl held his phone up and opened the text.

"i casnt beliieve uu just cut me f0ff,.."

Something was wrong.

 _Is she drunk?_

Fear rippled through Carl's veins at the thought.

 _No, no. Maybe she's tired or something._

"u just lefxt mee"

 _She's definitely drunk._

Carl stared at the texts, wondering what he should do.

 _Should I call her and see what's going on?_

 _But she hates you,_ one small voice in the back of his head said.

He held his face in his hands and looked up at the ceiling in frustration then back at the phone.

 _Her safety is more important than your pride._

Carl knew this was right. So he shakily clicked on her contact and pressed the call button, slowly holding the phone up to his ear. The ringer sounded a few times, and then she answered. It was loud. Really loud.

 _So she went out._

"HELLO," Kacey screamed sassily into the receiver.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Carl yelled so she could hear.

"WHY DO YOU CARE?" She spat back.

"KACEY. JUST TELL ME."

"I'M AT SOME FOOTBALL PLAYER'S HOUSE. I THINK HIS NAME IS BRENDAN OR SOMETHING. WHATEVER."

 _Brandon._ Carl knew him vaguely.

"ARE YOU DRUNK?"

He waited nervously for a few seconds before she responded.

"YEAH. I AM. LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER, RIGHT?"

The line went dead.

Carl sat staring at his screen in shock. This was all wrong. Carl was the fuck-up. Not Kacey. Kacey would never drink unless she was in a lot of pain or something.

 _She is in pain. Because of me._

"Fuck this," Carl exclaimed out loud as he jumped off of the couch. "DEBBIE," he yelled up the stairs. "DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED BRANDON?"

* * *

Carl got off the L in a rush; he had had Debbie text her friends to find out where Brandon lived. About twenty minutes, later he had run out the door with Brandon's address and got on the L. Brandon lived in a nicer part of Chicago in a townhouse near the city center, so it had taken Carl a little while to get there.

The whole time he was on the L he hadn't been able to calm down. He felt crazy just thinking about what could be happening to Kacey, and that it was entirely Carl's fault that she was drunk and possibly in danger.

 _I'm such a fucking prick_.

Carl itched for a beer by instinct, but instantly shoved the thought away. He knew that after tonight he probably wouldn't be drinking anymore. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on him: he now realized just how stupid he had been.

He just hoped Kacey would listen to him.

After getting off the L and taking the bus he thought he ended up at the right house. The loud music coming from inside confirmed his guess. Carl quickly opened the door and was greeted by a wave of heat. Their were a ton of people there. And most of them were kids Carl hated.

 _This isn't like Kacey to come to this._

He shoved his way through the sweaty crowd. It was dark and most people were too drunk or just didn't care that he was there. After taking a quick lap around the house he still didn't see Kacey and started to panic. And then, he spotted Phia.

"PHIA!" He shouted over the music blaring from the wall speakers.

Phia jolted her head towards Carl and met his gaze. Shock was written all over her face, with a hint of anger. He instantly made his way to her.

He leaned in a little so she could hear him. "WHERE'S KACEY?"

"WHY DO YOU CARE?" She jutted her chin out in defiance. Surprisingly, she wasn't that drunk.

"LISTEN, I KNOW I SCREWED UP. BUT PLEASE. I JUST WANT TO HELP HER." He looked at her with pleading eyes and a firm expression, wordlessly letting her know that he was serious.

Phia considered this and sighed, then said "FINE. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS."

Carl nodded but felt panicked. As he was about to respond, he spotted Zack by the steps.

 _That fucking—_

Before Carl could finish his thought he noticed that Zack was somewhat dragging someone towards the stairs.

 _Oh my fucking god._

It was Kacey.

She was stumbling while trying to pull her arm out of Zack's grasp. A rush of anger overwhelmed Carl's entire body.

 _He's dead._

"YOU BETTER LET GO RIGHT FUCKING NOW." Carl screamed as he surged towards them. He felt like he was going to erupt with rage. Kacey and Zack both looked at Carl at the same time but didn't register what was happening because Carl had quickly taken hold of Zack's shirt and had shoved him against the wall. Kacey's arm was torn away from Zack's grasp.

 _Did I just hurt her arm?_

"DON'T MOVE." Carl said through gritted teeth, glaring at Zack with pure hatred as he roughly let go of his shirt. Zack looked genuinely afraid but was clearly drunk.

Phia had come over and was making sure Kacey was okay. She noticed Carl and stepped to the side, giving him a knowing glance. Kacey then focused her attention to Carl, grabbing her arm and rubbing it as though she was in pain.

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

Kacey paused, considering if she should talk to him, then slowly nodded.

Carl turned back around and faced Zack. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Zack shrugged. He appeared to be a little more confident: most likely from the alcohol.

"SHE WAS JUST LOST. AND SEEMED LONELY." He smirked. "SO I WANTED TO KEEP HER COMPANY."

Before he knew it, Carl had punched Zack as hard as he could. Kacey gasped and Phia screamed, but it went generally unnoticed because of the loud music and darkness. Zack held his face in his hands; blood was practically pouring out. A circle was formed around them now as Zack shakily stood up, still covering his face.

"YOU FUCKING KNOCKED OUT A TOOTH," Zack yelled out.

Carl simply turned his back to him and gently touched Kacey's cheek, holding her face in his hands, ignoring the sharp sting on his knuckles. Kacey looked into his eyes and appeared as though she was struggling with what to feel.

"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?" He shouted as nicely as he could.

Kacey shook her head and removed his hands from her face. "STOP." She backed away.

"YOU LEFT ME. YOU FUCKING LEFT ME," she slurred-screamed, pretty much crying.

Carl felt a part of him break inside. A small lump formed in his throat.

 _Don't be a bitch._

They looked intensely at each other for a few seconds, and then Carl very slowly and very gently touched her shoulder, leaning into her.

"Please let me help you," he said softly, just loud enough for only her to hear.

He backed away and looked at her icy expression. After a moment the ice seemed to melt and she motioned for him to come close to her.

"Okay," she said back, her breath tickling his cheek and smelling of alcohol.

Carl looked at Phia and motioned towards the front door. She nodded in understanding and made her way towards the entrance.

"STAY CLOSE TO ME," he shouted to Kacey as he took her hand and gently pulled her closer to his chest. Although Zack had left the room, Carl was still alert. He shoved people left and right, shielding Kacey as she walked behind him and allowed him to lead her out.

A rush of cool air greeted them as they stepped outside. Phia ran over to Kacey. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

Kacey glanced at Carl then looked away and nodded. Phia noticed the tension and held up a finger to Kacey. "One second," she said, gesturing for Carl to step to the side.

"Listen," she started when they were separated from Kacey. "I begged her not to drink. And she dragged me to this party. I think she had the intention of coming and getting drunk. She's never willingly gone to a party."

Carl shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

Phia quietly sighed. "You screwed up. And I'm pissed at you. But thank you for all of that." She smiled softly. "Now go fix things with her."

Carl half-smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

They both walked back over to Kacey who was pressing her fingertips to her temples with a pained expression. "What's up?" Carl asked.

"Nothing," she stated haughtily.

Phia ignored Kacey's jab at Carl. "Kacey want me to drive you home?"

"I don't think Kacey should go home," Carl said.

He didn't feel comfortable leaving Kacey drunk and alone with her dad. Who knows how he would react.

Kacey was glaring at Carl.

Phia looked confused and was about to interrupt before Kacey interjected.

"He's right. Can I just come over?" She asked Phia.

Phia looked guilty. "Kacey, I'm sorry. But my parents would flip."

Kacey nodded. Phia looked at Carl and widened her eyes, tilting her head towards Kacey.

Phia didn't need to tell him to offer his house; he was already planning to.

"Kacey. Come to my house."

Kacey gazed over at Carl and bit her lip.

"I can drive you both," Phia added.

Carl half-smiled at her gratefully. Kacey remained quiet.

"I'll pick you up when you're sober," Phia said. "Come on. Let's go." She started to make her way towards her car and Carl waited for Kacey to follow her.

She grudgingly began walking to the car and Carl trailed her, opening the door for her and offering her his hand to help her stay balanced.

"Thank you," she mumbled as she took his hand and got in.

Carl slid in after her. Kacey inched away from him.

 _She hates me. And she should._

Carl gave Phia his address and she put the car in drive and pulled out of Brandon's neighborhood.

After a silent twenty minutes, they finally arrived at Carl's.

"Text me when you're sober and I'll come get you, okay?"

Kacey nodded. "Thank you. Drive safely."

Phia smiled. "No problem." She glanced at Carl before he got out of the car. "Bye Carl."

"Bye Phia. Thanks for everything."

He stepped outside and offered his hand again to Kacey. She took it right away and jumped out, trying to steady herself. He grabbed her arm. "Are you good?"

She looked in his eyes. "Yeah. Can I have some water?"

"Of course," he replied. They slowly made their way up the steps. Kacey's grip on Carl made his knuckles sting even more; they were caked with blood. However, he had more important things to deal with at the moment and Kacey didn't seem to feel the torn up skin under her grip.

Phia drove off after Carl opened the door for Kacey. He waved after her and Kacey shakily made her way inside, letting go of Carl's hand.

The house was quiet.

 _Everyone must be asleep. Or out._

Carl hesitated now that he was alone with Kacey. He was going to tell her everything but didn't know how to start. She seemed unsure as well, but just walked in and sank onto the couch, with Carl trailing behind her.

"I'll get you water," he said nervously.

Kacey nodded and thanked him when he came back a few moments later handing her a glass.

He sat down at the far end of the couch, fidgeting with his hands and inspecting the damage done to his hand. He was pushing off the conversation but only because he needed to think about what he wanted to say.

 _How about that I'm sorry? Just fucking talk to her._

Kacey was silently sipping her water with her legs tucked under her with a stony expression painted on her face.

Carl felt his stomach flip with apprehension.

 _Start talking!_

He exhaled quietly and directed his gaze towards Kacey. She didn't meet his eyes.

"Kacey," he practically whispered.

"No. Do not," she instantly retorted, glaring right at him. "You fucking blew me off. With _no_ explanation!" She was about to cry. Carl could hear it in her voice. And it broke his heart.

"Please. Just listen to what I have to say. I know you're a little drunk but I have to explain myself."

 _I can't believe I listened to Frank._

Her gaze faltered and she focused her attention to the floor, fidgeting with her hands and biting her lip. Second passed.

"Look. It's not like I don't have problems either. Problems with emotions and relationships and all of that shit. Frank and I talked and he kind of made me see that I'm more of a burden to you than anything else."

He glanced nervously at Kacey. She looked confused by that. He continued on.

"The problems you've had are because of me. Zack and Wesley. Dominique. And I feel so guilty for that. I don't want you to deal with any more bullshit than you already have to. Including your dad."

Kacey froze. They had never openly discussed it. But Carl felt like now was the right time to let her know that he was there; that he understood.

He took a a shaky deep breath in. "And I drank. A lot." His voice was full of shame. "I just got so fucking deep in my own head and in my thoughts and I needed an outlet. I figured I had no future so I might as well just not even try."

She slowly looked up at him with a heartbroken expression. Carl kept going but looked down at the floor.

"I realize now that distancing myself from you only hurt you more. And I really am sorry. I'm an idiot. I really hope you can forgive me and give me another chance."

His eyes fluttered as he struggled to meet her gaze. They stared at each other for a moment before Kacey glanced away and registered what Carl had just said to her. She breathed slowly and swallowed, biting her lip in deep contemplation.

 _I really missed her._

He inched closer to her.

 _I can't lose her again._

Carl stretched his hand towards her and gently placed his palm over hers. "Please," he practically begged.

Kacey had tensed up at his touch. She stared at their intertwined hands for a little, and then her eyes widened.

"Your hand," she uttered, her voice dripping with concern as she held it up tenderly to the light. "Let's clean the blood off."

A slow smile creeped up on Carl's face.

 _She forgives me._


End file.
